Que balance -> Why I might eventually quit FFXIV

[Tashigi]

Fair enough, although my situation, outside of what I noted above about my server, is very similar to yours.
I play for maybe 3 hours a day (If that) but I don't feel the game is in such a dire state. If anything, it's actually doing remarkably well, all things considered.
A lot can be done to make things better, but I don't think it's realistic to expect a holy trinity game to suddenly have no queues. As long as there is DPS/Tank/Heals; more people will choose the DPS path than the other roles.

If memory serves, WOW also had similar issues.
I played WOW since BETA, until Pandaria (I quit before the expansion; was bored). But in the vanilla days and even The Burning Crusade, the same issue you describe, plagued the game. This went on for almost 3 years.
Strangely enough, I never had problems with PVP queues. Once again, perhaps an issue with your data center; I was in the Whirlwind batch, Lightbringer server (Funny enough, a PVE server).

Um dude... not to nitpick here... but Final Fantasy is, and has always been... the Primier J-RPG. J-RPG is simply the initials for the phrase "Japanese Role Playing Game" which is exactly what Final Fantasy is. I suppose you could argue that Final Fantasy XI, and Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn are J-MMORPG's instead, but they are still J-RPG's.

Be realistic, once you reach end game in either XI or XIV, it's another MMO cycle. There is nothing RPG or JRPG about it; and the dependency on several other party members will only grow.
Besides, it's not exactly about the MMO cycle, but the fact that you'll be more than capable of controlling all of your party members and thus eliminating the queue factor the OP has noted, in your standard offline/single player RPG or JRPG.