Well, a good idea might be to browse the server forums and see if you can find a linkshell or Free Company that is recruiting that suits your requirements - and then simply choose your server from there. FFXIV's servers are only based out of two data centres by the way - Tokyo, Japan (JP server group) and Montreal Canada (NA/EU server group).

As you said you don't like roleplay though, it might be best to avoid Balmung and Gilgamesh, as they're the two 'unofficial' roleplay servers from what I understand. But if you're after a server that has people active at the times you play, I presume one of the NA/EU servers might be best for you.