Okay, so I'm sure there's been plenty of discussion over what the best thing to put in a Novus is. I'd like to go another direction. What would you consider to be the silliest ways to pump up a Novus? We can put up to five stats in each weapon. Here's some I've come up with:

Any Class Without Spells

Spell Speed + Piety: Nuff said.

Any Class Without Weaponskills

Skill Speed + anything: Nuff said.

Paladin

Spell Speed + Piety: Flash is a spell. I've got to cast it faster! Cast it more!
Crit + Det: I'm a closet Warrior! Rawr! Okay, so this isn't silly in the right situations, but I really wanted to say that line.

Warrior

Spell Speed + Piety: What? I can cast Flash too! Don't judge me!

Dragoon

Parry + Skill Speed + Accuracy: Who's the tank? This guy!
Parry + Spell Speed + Piety + Accuracy: lolDragoon.

Monk

Skill Speed + Accuracy: You will never escape my 100 fists of--- Oh, I'm out of TP.
Crit Rate + Determination + Skill Speed: Balance is key to the Way of the 100 Fists. Actually, this might not be silly either. 22 Crit, 31 Det, 22 Skill Speed? Might not be terrible at all.

White Mage

Crit Rate + Spell Speed: I'll run out of MP in 15 seconds, but I'll overheal like mad while I do it!

Scholar

Piety + Spell Speed: Oh, don't mind me. My MP tick just recovers more than Physick costs. Lalala.

Black Mage

Piety + Determination: I can totally cast one more fire before switching to ice. I think...

Summoner

Spell Speed + Piety: I don't need my pet to crit and increase my Spell Speed for me, and who needs Aetherflow anyway?

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So, does anyone else have some silly Novus ideas?