If you're interested in a small but active server, you might want to check out Lamia. Sometimes the Party Finder window is pretty small, but for the most part there's always something going on. There are many strong FC's, and overall I feel like the server is very friendly. I'm sure we could find a place for you in our free company, Notorious Monsters. We've got 3 active raid teams right now and we're working on a fourth, and there are always people online willing to help out. We've got a medium house in Mist.

Small servers can be nice. There's never a queue to get on, and if you have any friends who want to join you, Lamia is almost always open for new members.