I do have to admit that quick enrage is indeed annoying, because of the fact when someone mess up, there's most likely no way to recover because the boss'll hit his enrage because of the time you "wasted" recovering. A long term enrage that build over time would probably be better.
Other then that, i'm feeling the fights as they are right now are well made.
That being said, i do not agree with 95% of what you posted.
You keep saying that gear/echo/whatever doesnt impact the fight in any way, which is 100% wrong. It does help, to a point.
For instance, on twintania, you'll need less peoples stacked to eat the fireball and thus, more time to kill the conflag, conflag which will die waaaay quicker because of the better gear/echo. You can also completly ignore the initial strategy to kill the snakes. Killing them anywhen in any order works now because of echo. Also, the dreadknight will hardly ever kill someone now, as it just get destroyed as soon as it spawns.
On t6, higher dps will ease the fight alot (skipping a second honey and, eventually, completly ignoring the last phase).
On a side note, taking FFXI as an exemple most of the time will most likely lower your credibility toward any sane player that actually played that game. Yes, FFXI was memorable, but peoples tend to forget waaaay too quickly the bad sides it also had.
No, you cant make a party how you want. You probably think you were able to, but that's only because this game had waaay too many jobs, and most of them were simply fundamentaly working the same. I've been in several dynamis/sky/sea/hnm ls, and there are several jobs i've never seen. Certain jobs were made for certain piece of content, and using something else was just plain useless.
What FFXIV did right on that side, is the fact every jobs are different, even if they take part in the same "role", and every of them can take part in any content without feeling useless.
Alot of other thing could be said regarding that post. But overall, i'd recommend you re-sub to FFXI and stick with it, till you realize FFXIV is not so bad, after all.

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