Mentor program, wherefore art thou?

[Ryuko]

I remember when the mentor program was first introduced in FFXI... a lot of players put it on because they genuinely wanted to help others... buuuut, there were some people who put on mentor status just because they liked the way it looked. It was a status symbol to them. So, while I like the idea, I'm not sure how effective, as a whole, it would be. I always try to help out new players if they ask for help. Unfortunately, a LOT of players do not speak up... and the reasons for this vary. One example is the player who HAS spoken up before asking for help, but was treated rudely because he asked. Another example is the player who prefers to 'learn by doing' and doesn't want fights 'spoiled for them' with explanations. Other people just don't speak up because they believe they can 'fake it until they make it'. Either way, I get REALLY frustrated if I ask, "Does anyone not know the fight?" and no one answers only to be met with a wipe due to someone CLEARLY not knowing the fight.

So what do we do about this? As a community, we should be kinder as a whole to people who DO speak up and ask. And, when you see someone being rude to someone else for asking a genuine question, speak up. When I see someone trying to bully people into skipping cutscenes, I speak up and say... "No, enjoy your cutscene. We'll clear trash while you are watching it." I'm already 'wasting' my time playing an MMO... what's two more minutes to foster a friendly community through encouraging people to enjoy the storyline?

I always try my best to say things in a non-offensive way. Most of the time, I do not impose and simply give advice if asked. Buuuuut, there are times people will get defensive and jump into the "do not tell me how to play" mentality. That helps no one. As nice as I can be, I fear these people jump into this mentality because of the way they've been treated. So, just be kinder as a whole and people are more likely to be honest. One example I can think of with this situation.. I was doing Titan Hard, way back in the day. Someone was parsing and pointed out that one of the summoners in the group was doing less damage than the tank. I tried to offer the summoner some friendly advice, and I found out he was not using fester. At all. I explained why fester is good, and how you can maintain MP without ever having to use energy drain (he believed he would go OOM and fester wasn't worth it). While I was trying to explain, other players jumped in and teased him for being 'so bad at his job'. This really frustrated me because I was trying to help this guy, and their reaction to him talking honestly with me was probably making it so he wouldn't speak up again. Not only that, but it also sort of painted me as a jerk because they were all insulting him while I was also trying to teach him.