Your best gear will come from grand company and dungeon drops. Or craft the hq versions yourself.
Until you hit level 50 don't expect your ilvl to be >= your level. It is possible at a couple of sweet spots but due to level gaps between items (particularly jewelry) your ilvl will probably always be quite behind.

As for higher level people being jerks in lower level dungeons.. :/ That just sucks and there are numerous threads about it.