Bards and BLMs ... is hard to control your aggro?

[Cigaran]

So, there are hate meters under our names? O_o . I've just been using the weird color and shape one.

Yup. The Party window will have little bars on the left by your name. It will also have a number listing your position on the Emnity list that goes A through however many players you have in your Party. 'A' is at the top of the list. It's super, super simple to understand and follow once you know it's there.