I would argue that yes, players should be able to play their way. There is a general crummy attitude permeating MMOs and some games are worse than others and FF14 is slowly becoming the worst offender.

There is a difference between, "Looking for experienced players who know the fights, please youtube" vs "Haven't watched video, we'll kick!". For example, there is quite the elitist crowd in TSW, but they at least tend to be mature and either friendly or at least have pleasant enough attitudes.

I don't think anyone wants a free ride or to be carried through. We all have goals that we want to achieve with our characters and can be tough and frustrating to be community gated. However, I think what many players would like to see is just a more friendlier attitude in general. That doesn't mean partying with anyone interested, but people respond better to polite rejection in general...., "Hey sorry, this is a speed run and we need you to know the dungeon."