Howdy ladies and gentlemen of Vana'di...wait..no, that's not right.
*clears throat*
Howdy ladies and gentlemen of Eorzea!

I have a problem, you see, I came back from having played at launch and find myself missing one key ingredient to add to the tasty and scrumptious "fun" pie. That ingredient you ask? (...or even if you didn't...too bad because I'm going to tell you and you can't stop me now, my words are in your brain box...bwahahahaha!) Friends! I need people to play with! The game is very boring by one's lonesome, and rather "slog through it" as seems to be the standard these days, I opt for a classier option, actually playing with others! Fancy that! Who'd have thought?! Please feast your eyes on the following bulleted list... (No don't worry, no text boxes were harmed in the making of this post, bulleted is a figure of speech you see, they're not real ammunition...)