How to stop a stalker?

[SavageWolf]

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

I can't believe I read that whole thing... Wow.

There are some people out there that need some serious help.

[cearka]

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

But really OP, I suggest ignore them for now, even if they follow you around it won't ammount to much in a world of instances and fast teleport.

w.t.f. did I just read O_o that was a trainwreck.

[Grey_Cain]

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

But really OP, I suggest ignore them for now, even if they follow you around it won't ammount to much in a world of instances and fast teleport.

Well, after reading that, my advice to you, Symphony42, to Gathzel, and others being stalked in-game is to ignore the stalker entirely. By all means, keep pictures of the logs, especially of a log where you straight out tell them to leave you alone, and get whatever other evidence you need to prove they're saying what you say they're saying. But after you tell them to leave you alone you need to try to avoid acknowledging the stalker's existence as much as possible and under no circumstance respond to anything that they say or do no matter how disturbing or insulting, no matter how much you just want to put them in their place, no matter how often they demand you talk to them or how much they threaten you. You want them to go crazy, to provide evidence of their craziness on their own, but you do NOT want to involve yourself in that crazy because it only gives people something sympathetic to latch onto if they don't want to believe you.

They get hope when you talk to them, no matter how negatively. They believe that conversation is a starting point to beginning/repairing a relationship. They believe that conversation itself is evidence of a relationship. They will exploit their relationships with others to try to trick you into a conversation, but you must resist.

Do only as much as you're comfortable with if you find yourself stuck in a group with the stalker (for FC/LS raids or whatever), whether that be to treat them as a DF throwaway member or to just leave the group entirely. I don't recommend doing things to make a dungeon harder on others because that will only turn them against you, but don't be afraid to just abandon the group if you can't stay calm and continue ignoring the stalker. Don't expect them to leave the group. Don't try to vote kick them yourself; let someone else get fed up with them and initiate the vote. They will, of course, accuse you of initiating the kick, but you have to let them continue thinking that and don't try to defend yourself. If they bring it up with the FC/LS, you will be able to cheerfully respond to others that you did not initiate any votes and there will be no opportunity for them to gain sympathy.

Use /busy when you start receiving /tells so you stop receiving them entirely, even from new accounts (great for stopping gil-sellers, but you have to re-use this every time you login). Remove emotes from the chat log filters if he's using those excessively. If you find you're having to use /busy every time you log on, consider making a chat LS for your close friends; just make sure that you and (maybe) the people you trust absolutely are the only ones able to hand out access, and make sure that those people know the situation. However, even within this close circle of friends you must continue to avoid talking about the stalker. Don't badmouth them or insult them in LS chat because not only can it give the stalker undeserved sympathy but it will cause you yourself to begin breaking down and making it harder to avoid responding to the stalker.

If you are in the same FC, make sure your FC knows the situation and that you refuse to acknowledge the person, but don't be surprised if you don't find support (like Gathzel eventually had to find out). Let it be known that you do not know this person, you do not wish to know them, and you will still do what is necessary to complete the FC's objectives if you are forced to deal with them even though you don't want to. Again, as long as you can refrain from speaking to them as a person (tactics only) while still performing in-game duties, the person will eventually out their own crazy.

It will take time. It will take effort to stop yourself from doing anything to acknowledge their existence. But over time, the energy they put into the stalking will dwindle. As long as there is no conversation, there is no relationship. As long as you continue to say nothing, there will be nothing for them to show others to gain sympathy. As long as you can outlast them, it will end.

Above all, if you start hearing from them in real life, start calling the police.

[Delorean]

so ignore them?

File a stalking report to your local police station and forward to Square Enix (signed paper letter, return receipt) a copy of that. It will be assured they will think twice about do that again in their IRL.

I think everyone is just going to laugh at them.

There are irrational women everywhere who watch too many movies that are weirded out by guys they do not find attractive who have expressed their interest in them and meet these guys on a pretty regular basis in real life. You can't just, like, ban that person from your workplace just because you don't like them.

These women just ignore these guys and tell them off whenever they bother them... It's not rocket science.

A lot of people like this have an extremely exaggerated perception of the person they are obsessing over. Break it and they usually just back off.

But fact of the matter is that this "harassment" has been completely ingame. If you ask me, you need more to go off of than someone telling you they are in love with your character to try to make the title "stalker" stick in any conversation with someone serious about helping you with your problem.

You blocked them... They cannot talk to you. Why does it matter if they are always near you? If they make another character to bother you, then feel free to file a complaint about harassment.

[Foo01]

so ignore them?
...
You blocked them... They cannot talk to you. Why does it matter if they are always near you? If they make another character to bother you, then feel free to file a complaint about harassment.

If they follow you around they can still do shouts and such. And people shouldn't have to put with other people intruding into there personal space, real life, virtual, or otherwise.

SE need to make player search not return any location information for people not on the friends list. And that information should be able to be selectively turned off by the individual just like privacy policy. Eorzea is big enough such that if that information is off, you can not find anyone in a reasonable amount of time if they do not want to be found.

[Symphony42]

Looking through the thread, I am very appreciative of the helpful suggestions here, so thank you to all contributors. Although my internet fan isn't coming after me for romantic reasons (as far as I know at least), it would appear that the chasing is over, at least for now based on a PSN message I got. Blacklisting and a GM report must have done the trick. It's a real shame that someone who seems to be a friend would turn out so obsessive, but it's done and over with, and hopefully they learn not to be so overbearing to the next person.

This creepy story from FFXI comes to mind.

http://gathzel.livejournal.com/748.html

While similar to my situation, at least I didn't have to go through that nightmare fuel.

[TeaTimeBear]

Oh, wow. You probably need to find yourself a monkey to get rid of that "banana." But in all seriousness, I'd probably file a report for harassment in-game and see if you can chat with a GM about it (especially if you have already asked said person to stop). I'm pretty sure all of us from Midgard understand...because that's not "=D n.n double cute."

Was lost till I read this. Dear god...

[NinjaTaru72]

What of op's stalker is. The novex or whatever his Name was, from the link o.o

[Chiral]

I think you've done the right thing by reporting them. Do your best to give no response to their actions - I know it may be hard to see them around, but unfortunately that probably can't be helped. Take a break if you need to get some distance if seeing them is causing you anxiety beyond just annoyance.

I'm not sure if this well-known person's, um, unique...communication style...is because they have trouble communicating or is just a game they play, but either way a stern warning from SE will hopefully get them to lay off the clingy, inappropriate behavior.

[Parodine]

so ignore them?



I think everyone is just going to laugh at them.

There are irrational women everywhere who watch too many movies that are weirded out by guys they do not find attractive who have expressed their interest in them and meet these guys on a pretty regular basis in real life. You can't just, like, ban that person from your workplace just because you don't like them.

These women just ignore these guys and tell them off whenever they bother them... It's not rocket science.

I'm sorry, but I had to bold that ridiculous shiz. I'm not a woman, so I'm not going to claim to know what it's like. But as I can imagine, they deal with physical and sexual harassment on a much more regular basis in real life than we do. Stalking as well. Anything that you've seen in the movies can and already has happened in real life thousands of times over. Never has anyone gotten hurt or endangered for being too careful in this situation. The opposite can't be said.

I don't blame anyone for taking what may be labeled 'extremes' to make sure it doesn't happen in the virtual world they want to be a stress reliever in their life.