Being Gendered Correctly

[Kimmy_Dee]

My character name is a female name. My character is female. Yet I still get people calling me "he" in chat every time.

Not only is the assumption that I apparently "must" be a guy rather insulting, but it's also kind of a painful one. I'm a trans woman. Being called "he" really hurts, and playing a female character with a female name should be sufficient to get gendered as female. And if people aren't sure they could at least ask.

Pretty much the only thing I could do about this beyond what I have already is start off every party with, "By the way, I'm a girl." Not only does it feel obnoxious and tedious to have to do, but I'm well aware of how many in the gaming community react to someone being visibly female.

But overall? If you can't be bothered to ask, please just gender based on avatar. It's far simpler and less insulting than assuming every player is a guy.

[jars]

everyone on the internet is a G.I.R.L.(either way you're misgendering a lot of people)

[Rennah]

As a female gamer as well, I'm really tired of this. Stop assuming that I'm a man. Generally, I assume character gender = player gender unless proven otherwise, and have NO problem giving a gentle correction when that happens when I'm playing one of my boys...but girls? Really? Yes. We exist in gaming and MMOs. So please stop assuming we're all men.

I'm sure someone will pop in with "It's not a big deal, get over it"...but when you've played many MMOs and found this attitude to be the most prevalent, yes, it does get tiring. Just because we're used to casual sexism in games doesn't mean that it's not exhausting to put up with.

[Lamentations]

As a female gamer as well, I'm really tired of this. Stop assuming that I'm a man. Generally, I assume character gender = player gender unless proven otherwise, and have NO problem giving a gentle correction when that happens when I'm playing one of my boys...but girls? Really? Yes. We exist in gaming and MMOs. So please stop assuming we're all men.

I'm sure someone will pop in with "It's not a big deal, get over it"...but when you've played many MMOs and found this attitude to be the most prevalent, yes, it does get tiring. Just because we're used to casual sexism in games doesn't mean that it's not exhausting to put up with.

Lol maybe it's because I am 52 that I do this, it just comes natural, some tell me what gender they are behind the toon some don't.

I call female toons she and males he, it's default to me.

Doesn't really matter, a personality is a personality, a jerk is a jerk, gender doesn't matter.

[Muzy]

There's no real need to be insulted, keep in mind, many people properly name a character, even if they are not of the same gender as that character. Sayin "he" is more a general catch all now when meetin someone new on the internet, no one is trying to hurt your feelins, it's more just a generic term applied to someone, since most people have a hard time thinkin in genderless terms, which would be over all more equal...

[Kimmy_Dee]

It's not a general catch because it's an assumption. If you want to go gender neutral, use "they".

[Luxx]

It's not a general catch because it's an assumption. If you want to go gender neutral, use "they".

i wouldnt let this bother you at all. many MANY times i would think someone is a girl, they correct me and say their a guy,
even in their female character or vice versa. i am in no way trying to hurt feelings though.
just correct them and go abt your day. :c sorry i am not trying to be mean or anything
but is nothing to get upset about.
but have a hug to feel better:

[Tharian]

It's not a general catch because it's an assumption. If you want to go gender neutral, use "they".

Actually not to nitpick, but historically within the English Language the Masculine Pronouns have actually been considered the Gender Neutral Pronouns as well. That is because English does not have an individual set of Gender Neutral Singular Pronouns the way most other languages do.

[SchalaZeal]

What's funny is that, like the OP, I'm also a trans woman.

Since even before I came out, I took to only play female characters when possible (when not gender locked classes, like in DFO). But I quickly learned that no one (in MMOs) really cares about what sex I am, too.

Trolls would think my wanting it to be known is more reason to harass me, not because I'm female and they hate women. But because mentioning something irrelevant is perceived as attention-seeking.

[Kimmy_Dee]

Actually not to nitpick, but historically within the English Language the Masculine Pronouns have actually been considered the Gender Neutral Pronouns as well. That is because English does not have an individual set of Gender Neutral Singular Pronouns the way most other languages do.

Incorrect. Historically they was the gender neutral singular. Defaulting to male was a much more recent change to language (very late nineteenth century).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singula...pected_authors Just as an example.

Tho language is not immutable.

Depressed how many people want me to just accept it. "Come have a happy fantasy experience, but in exchange accept constant misgendering without complaint."

Oh, and just FYI. Transgender doesn't mean "woman in a man's body" or "I was a man and became a woman". I do not appreciate being described as such.