Being Gendered Correctly

[Muzy]

Kimmy is not a very feminine name! Kim is a male and female name and Kimmy is a derivative of that. It's gender neutral at best.

fxt, it's derivative, not derogative.

Also, agreed, it might be considered female by many NA players, but like quite a few other names considered feminine over here, it's actually gender neutral for pretty much the rest of the world. A fair number of other names included(but by no means all of them), Kelly, Ashley, Erin(Yes, this spelling is actually gender neutral), and you know what...


Here's a link to a site with a good bit of info on this.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...derBlenderName

[SarcasmMisser]

Wow people didn't know that Kim is a common Korean male name? Way to leave your American exceptionalism unchecked, I'll have you know that many Korean males WERE hurt by assumptions that they were a woman and consequently being called the incorrect pronoun. Tumblr WILL hear about this.

[Luxx]

You know, for the number of folks going, "It's just a game," none of you seem to realize that it's kinda shitty having to deal with the exact same shit I deal with in real life in a game.

You come onto the XIV forums and demand sympathy for us, then some of us try to sit at your table, but you turn around and be mean.
the first problem was: you came onto the XIV forums, these forums in particular. the lot of us dont give a rats ass lol.
youre making a moutain out of a mole hill really.

also they call you a male in rl...and youre a girl right? welp...

[Marowit]

The thing is that she is called the opposite of her characters gender. She even has a very feminine coded name. When I see someone with feminine coded name or have seen their avatar and see the person as a female I call that person she. Easy as that

Except a name still isn't enough because a lot of players will at least try and name their character something that sounds like it fits. I myself am again a big ass burly man who's a bit intimidating irl yet I'm playing a female hyur with a slightly feminine last name. I don't expect to be called she though just because I chose not to name my character Jeff. I've been playing MMOs for years and still have yet to see a female character named Jeff or anything masculine so just because a name is feminine doesn't mean the player is a chick or someone that identifies as one

[Titor]

see the triggering of it

If being called a wrong gender triggers you so bad, then either please make an effort at the beginning of your dungeon/joining of your FC/dungeon note to make it known to the people what you want to be called, or do not use platforms where people have no information about you and may accidentally misgender you. If I was TERRIFIED of cat-people and they trigger me due to some mindset I have or traumatic event, I cannot go and argue that people should not play mi'qote. I can also not say that people are playing mi'qote to trigger or harass me. If you do not let people know what you want to be called, it literally cannot be classified as harassment. They are just innocently taking /some kind of guess/ at what you /might/ be.

If you tell them what you want to be called and they start harassing you on it, at that point it becomes harassment. But you cannot expect people to be psychic and know what exactly you wish to be called.

[ninthfantasy]

I get called "he" all the time. I used to correct it to *she but now I never bother. Obviously it's not as offensive for me as it is for OP, I really couldn't care less what gender they think I am.

[Zhi]

Thank you all for correction. From my experience most people nicked Kimmy from Kim have been females. So thank you for correction.

Beside that, can not we all agree on that we shall call female avatars "she/her"? What is the problem with that?

1) we don't control anyone but ourselves
2) waste of fkin brain power to make sure we assert the proper gender of an avatar to correctly address a person who , 99.99% of the time could not care less. All those people you meet spend a couple seconds thinking? Fk that I rather devote that energy pondering why my dog is do adorable

[Titor]

fxt, it's derivative, not derogative.

Oh yeah, that's what I meant, thanks >_<

[Spot]

Beside that, can not we all agree on that we shall call female avatars "she/her"? What is the problem with that?

No. Why should we. We can call someone whatever we want within the scope of the TOS. I'm not going to change the way I do things to cater to someones feeling.

[Araeya]

So, you're asking that all players be referred to as the gender their character is so that you are not misgendered. Has it occurred to you that it would result in people who play characters of the opposite gender being misgendered? What if they have an issue that causes them to be as bothered by that as you are? You could request the general usage of "they", which is actually grammatically incorrect since it's plural, so could that then somehow offend those who have something akin to DID? The only other unspecific pronoun is "it", and I can't imagine you'd like to be called that. So, is there a solution that makes everyone happy, or do people need to take in the reality of the situation and in turn have realistic expectations? The bottom line is that these are not people who have any knowledge of you whatsoever. They aren't calling you by your birth name. They aren't seeing you and still calling you "he". They know nothing about you. If anything, you are not being misgendered. In this scenario, it's actually your character being misgendered, and that character is make-believe. Would it bother you as much if they said you have a different hair color, or race, or creed? It's a video game. No one is threatening you, harassing you or otherwise intentionally mistreating you. I'd say that's on the minor side, and it is your choice to take it seriously or not to.