Being Gendered Correctly

[AthrunZolza]

Honestly I think people just have gotten use to the assumption every online girl character is a guy they just got with he this he that it is annoying though ppl do this to my irl friend on the game same thing she is a girl avi girl name and they still say he .. But you also have if you play well most people assume girls can't play as well as guys therefore it's a guy really.. which again is stupid but it's how people think sadly enough.. My personal thing I go by the character if the character is a she I go with she and so forth but always remember you are you and no one can change that be yourself always xD

[Chiramu]

I'm just a normal girl and being called a "guy" in MMOs is nothing new. Everyone expects everyone else to be male, even though it's as plain as day that there is a numerous amount of girls in FFXIV XD.

OP, just take it as a compliment. Most people assume girls' can't play and if you are referred to as a guy then they might be thinking you're not too bad of a player :P.

[Jewelfox]

Okay, first, stop telling the OP how to feel unless you also suffer from gender dysphoria. When you're trans, being gendered incorrectly is like being reminded you lost a loved one in 9/11 or broke both legs in a skiing accident. You can't turn off your triggers just because other people might trip them by accident.

Second, I think it's ridiculous that ANYONE assumes every FFXIV player is male until proven otherwise. For goddess' sake, this isn't Modern Warfare. It's a Final Fantasy game and an MMORPG. And even the "Bro of Duty" shooters are starting to let people play female characters in multiplayer.

[Tharian]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singula...pected_authors Just as an example.

When I said the masculine pronouns were used for Gender Neutrality in the English Language historically, I was referring to the Modern English Language. The use of "They" as a Singular Pronoun dates back to Middle English which is actually an entirely different Dialect of English from the Modern English. The Modern English as it exists today did not really evolve until around the 18th to 19th Centuries anyways, so using anything prior to that date as an example of how Gender Neutrality was approached within the Modern English Language is kind of faulty. We might as well be trying to figure out how Gender Neutrality was approached in Old English while we are at it, and that really is another language in it's entirety.

And to be perfectly blunt, the Generic "He" is actually more politically correct than the singular "They"

EDIT: @Jewelfox: the Generic "He" is not a mode of sexism, rather it is an attempt to apply a form of personalization to the unknown. Since we can never know for certain what gender an individual happens to be unless we speak to them using a Voice IP, or have them tell us so themselves, using the Generic "He" is simply more politically correct than assuming that a person is correctly representing their gender in the digital medium.

[Jewelfox]

When I said the masculine pronouns were used for Gender Neutrality in the English Language historically, I was referring to the Modern English Language. The use of "They" as a Singular Pronoun dates back to Middle English which is actually an entirely different Dialect of English from the Modern English. The Modern English as it exists today did not really evolve until around the 19th Century anyways, so using anything prior to that date as an example of how Gender Neutrality was approached within the Modern English Language is kind of faulty. We might as well be trying to figure out how Gender Neutrality was approached in Old English while we are at it, and that really is another language in it's entirety.

Or we could just, you know, stop using historical sexism as an excuse for being a douchebag to other people.

[Gilraen]

We aren't trying to belittle Kimmy at all, it's just that there's not a whole lot we can do about it on the forums. Forum-goers are a vocal minority among XIV's player-base, half the time the wrong kind of vocal minority. I mean, look at who all replied to this thread. For all the posts it's only been the same handful of players that have been replying. And not a single one of us is in any position to make policy in regards to XIV so... what else can we tell them than to buck up and keep a stiff upper-lip? Honestly, the sooner they take a deep breath, relax and let it go the better. Letting it get to you and dwelling on it will only serve deepen any rifts they already have push them into a place best left unexplored.

[Lucke]

I call people by their character's gender. If your gender doesn't match, you can correct me and I'll use the proper terminology from then on, no big deal.

Slightly off topic, but is it offensive to girls when people refer to them as "guys"? Context: "I'm gonna hang out with the guys!" Where in this case, "guys" refer to a group of people with male and female members. Does being lumped into the "guys" catch-all offend the ladies? I'm legitimately curious.

[Kimmy_Dee]

I'm not saying for it to be "policy". I'm asking those that I can to stop assuming everyone is a guy. It's a pretty simple request and all I see are excuses for people who don't want to change their behavior.

Slightly off topic, but is it offensive to girls when people refer to them as "guys"? Context: "I'm gonna hang out with the guys!" Where in this case, "guys" refer to a group of people with male and female members. Does being lumped into the "guys" catch-all offend the ladies? I'm legitimately curious.

Most of us don't mind but if someone asks you not to refer to them as a guy then it's good to respect that request.

Also also "he" is not generic and trying to make it take that role was historical sexism.

[Rennah]

Lucke - Doesn't bother me, though I would like to say that's a very different situation than the one being discussed in this thread.

And guys who say it doesn't bother you to be called "she" on a female character, be aware that most, if not all, of us have no problem being called "he" when playing a male character. Like I've said, I gender based on character unless corrected, and I'm fine with the same for me. But wouldn't it get a little sigh-inducing if you were running around on your male character and were called "she" by default...? Of course this is only one small part of a much larger sexism-in-MMOs thing, but the fact is, it's exhausting because it's like the icing on the cake. It's one more small thing, like having a tiny rock stuck in your shoe. Debilitating? Experience-breaking? Enough to get under your skin so much you hate your surroundings? Probably not. But it DOES start to get more and more frustrating with every step you take, don't you think?

[Mcshiggs]

It's inconsequential to enjoying the game for you. It is not for me. People assuming I'm a guy is something I already have to worry about in the real world, I don't need it in the video game as well, and every time I get called 'he' despite all my attempts to present as female without drawing attention to myself, it's a reminder of all the fear and bullshit I have to deal with in the real world. I dunno about you, but being constantly reminded of shitty real world stuff does not make for an enjoyable gaming experience for me.

This is you bringing your hangups into the game. If people wanted to harm you or cause you emotional trauma, I am sure they would come up with more than calling you "he" when male pronouns have been used as gender neutral in the English language for a long time. All men are created equal, Age of man, One giant leap for mankind.

Part of an online game is online interactions, if it's not enjoyable for you there are options. You could find a group of like minded people, there is a pretty big post on LGBT friendly linkshells and free companies. You could ignore this kind of stuff, since people aren't being malicious when they do, but I doubt you will pick this one since because of this thread. Another option is to stop playing, not saying you should, but if it bothers you this much, then why put yourself through it, I learned early on that fire is hot, so I don't stick my hand in fire then complain that it burns. I understand that you may want to change the world, but understand that I'm not going to treat you special just because you are a trans woman, you don't like being treated differently in the real world, so why do you want me to treat you differently in game, wouldn't that just remind you of all that fear and stuff you have to deal with in the real world?

I'm not saying for it to be "policy". I'm asking those that I can to stop assuming everyone is a guy. It's a pretty simple request and all I see are excuses for people who don't want to change their behavior.

This is the thing, many people aren't assuming you are male, he can be and quite often is used as a generic. So maybe the problem is you are assuming that others are assuming you are a guy, and if you want others to change their behavior, then I should be able to ask you to change yours and stop assuming you know what I am assuming, and you should be fine with that.