Being Gendered Correctly

[Marowit]

Not really. There's a lot of transphobia in this topic. People deliberately misgendering me. Mocking trans identities. Etc.

I think it's pretty insulting that I'm expected to just ask people to call me she when everyone reading this thread knows that I'm a girl and there are still people misgendering me. You think that won't happen in the game as well? You don't think that plays a role in why I'd rather be able to avoid the situation entirely by being gendered correctly the first time?

Serious question. Why did any of us need to know you used to be a man? Could you not have come in here and said "hey guys not everyone that plays a female character is a guy can you please refer to people as their characters gender because it can be a bit upsetting being called a guy when you're a girl"?

I can all but guarantee you would have gotten 200% less shit from other players. The fact that you're transgender is useless information to us and was only an invitation to be trolled and troll us. you have no one but yourself to blame for this situation. I've said it multiple times if being called a he really bothers you so much go find an LGBT FC/Ls and only play with those players who will call you what ever you want them to. You can find them in this thread http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...pany-Directory

Hell I even did the work for you. On your server there are two LGBT FCs where you would be more than welcome. Go and talk to The splintered Shield http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...is-Recruiting!

If you don't like them you also have Tonberry Knights http://tonberryknights.guildwork.com/

And if neither of those work out you have Chocobo Feather http://www.chocobofeather.com/home

The Starship https://www.facebook.com/groups/starshipxiv/

[Kimmy_Dee]

Serious question. Why did any of us need to know you used to be a man? Could you not have come in here and said "hey guys not everyone that plays a female character is a guy can you please refer to people as their characters gender because it can be a bit upsetting being called a guy when you're a girl"?

Well, for one, I've never "used to be a man". Nor do I have a "man's body". I'm a woman. This is my body. Ergo it is a woman's body.

As for why I brought my being trans into it, because I was hoping informing people that there are personal circumstances people can have that can make being misgendered more than just annoying or insulting.

Besides, don't go into blaming a trans woman being insulted and harassed on her being open about her trans status. People are fully responsible for their own actions, and the people being overtly transphobic are fully responsible for theirs.

[LeonBlade]

Not really. There's a lot of transphobia in this topic. People deliberately misgendering me. Mocking trans identities. Etc.

Transphobia implies people are afraid of trans people... no one here is afraid of you... we're just saying that you're being an entitled person by expecting everyone in the game to change to cater to you and how "special" and "different" you are to everyone else.

Serious question. Why did any of us need to know you used to be a man?

They want attention, plain and simple, that's exactly what they're getting here.

"Everyone needs to cater to ME ME ME! I'M special! I'M important! People need to care about MY feelings. I'm incapable of adapting to my environment, so I need EVERYONE else to change according to MY feelings!"

[mythicrose]

Snip

What I really think is that you're making a mountain of a mole hill because some random person referred to you as "he". I get called a "he" and "she" about equally. You have the unfortunate character avatar of a lalafell. Outside of hair style, there's very little else to distinguish a female lala from a male without nearly placing a camera angle on said lalafell. Your name "Kimmy" is ambiguous as well. I have both male and female friends that are "Kims" and "Kimmys".

You're expecting too much to change everyone's pronoun use on the internet. You've felt insulted. I understand that. Even if everyone changed to the system of "they" like you want, some one, some where, is going to find an insult in that pronoun as well.

[Fawkes]

I think it's pretty insulting that I'm expected to just ask people to call me she when everyone reading this thread knows that I'm a girl and there are still people misgendering me.

You told people what bothers you, and they are using that information to try and bother you. That's the internet. That has always been the internet.

[Kaelah]

I usually get called a he, people assume most Mioq'te are blokes. It doesn't bother me, I just say she actually! Then they know. Nothing to get offended over in my opinion. If it were real life maybe, cuz you could only assume it means they think you look like a dude. lol. :P Online we don't know who is behind the avatar.

[Vilhem]

OP admitted you have a personal psychological issue, which is valid and legit I'm sure. I don't think anybody is downplaying your situation here, really.

But what you're asking of the community is to essentially bend over backwards and cater to your personal problem, instead of you, yourself, taking responsibility for working through your problem. Getting mad on the forums isn't the way to treat it. Getting professional help is. That's something YOU have to initiate. You can't expect the playerbase to do it for you by patting your booboos and make you feel better.


I'll say it again. Don't take it personal. The community isn't on some kind of crusade to hurt your feelings by calling you a "he". They don't know you. They don't know of your problems irl, nor should they. Those problems are for you to work out irl. Yeah I know, it sucks when sometimes irl seeps into games where we kill dragons, but how much of that irl seeps in depends on YOU. YOU are making this mountain of a molehill because someone called you a "he". Instead of crying on a forum, get some help so that you can lead a better, more fulfilling life. I say that with all sincerity, and as someone who is working through similar irl problems that I choose not to discuss here.

[bonta789]

so OP is a lala, I don't blame people for saying he. I cant be the only one who has a hard time telling some lala males and females apart. lets be honest they do lack the "womanly figure" and with a helm and some hats on its dam near impossible to tell.

[Vilhem]

so OP is a lala, I don't blame people for saying he. I cant be the only one who has a hard time telling some lala males and females apart. lets be honest they do lack the "womanly figure" and with a helm and some hats on its dam near impossible to tell.

I play zoomed out max all the time (I have poor eyesight so zooming out helps prevent motion sickness for me), so for me lalafells are indistinguishable. Sometimes I don't even see them when they're standing behind another player XD only way I can really tell their gender is if I zoom in to see them, and most of the time, I can't be arsed to do so. >.>

[Elackha]

btw just type the name is good enough as stated in ur character