Being Gendered Correctly

[Volsung]

Hi there, its the internet, dont take all of it as an insult.

As a general rule of thumb "Guy until proven otherwise"
If the mistake happens, just inform them you're a lady. Also depending
on where you live some things like "he" and "guys" are not
gender linked.

I'm sorry it bothers you but don't let it. Things like that are
not about lambasting your sexual being, but mostly because
its shorter/easier to chat like that. It has nothing to do with
who you are behind the computer.

Hope that helps you understand what may be going on and how
to go about it.

[Edellis]

Not only is the assumption that I apparently "must" be a guy rather insulting, but it's also kind of a painful one. I'm a trans woman.

I was wondering how this could possibly be an issue worth making a topic about, and then i got to this sentence. First off, this is an MMORPG, males playing as females isnt only common its pretty much expected. Second, there is no logical reason why someone getting your gender wrong on an MMO should ever be considered "insulting", man, woman or transwoman aside.


It's an MMO. In my experience, if you're talking to a female player, using either male or female character, you will at some point be corrected. It's just sort of a natural reaction to being called out of your gender to correct someone. Me personally, like im sure most people here, just get tired of assuming wrong and default to a slightly more accurate one -- "majority of the female characters on MMOs are dudes."


TL;DR

If you're proud of being transgender, who you are, you should grow some thicker skin and act like it. Especially in this situation, since the sex of the character being played is even less accurate than in real life.

[CYoung187]

Guess we should just stop talking in dungeons. Never know who you will offend. Maybe they need to have a 5 minute window before you can start each dungeon so we can read everyones profiles and know what may or may not offend them.

Or people can just stop taking things said by strangers over the internet so seriously. If someone calls you the wrong gender, correct them and it will likely be the end of it. Don't instead get offended by a simple mistake.

Edit: I know I sound like a completely unsensitive prick, but I can only imagine how bad it gets taken when people in the game really act like jerks. I have seen some pretty toxic people in games. There are people that are genuinely trying to insult you, so I hope the more sensitive individuals aren't taking those jerks words to heart as well. This is the internet and everything directed towards you shouldn't be taken too seriously or you make yourself vulnerable.

[SchalaZeal]

Maybe its a maturity thing as I have noticed younger mtf women are more prone to taking offense than older women.

It's mostly about how long since they socially transitioned. It's been 8 years here, and even in real life, I'm way less susceptible.

It's just plain self-confidence, due to lived experience. Of course you need to be gendered correctly by the right people (family, friends, romantic interests), but eventually, what everyone else might think matters much less.

These as examples of organizations "catering" to woman to make money off of them. How is this a positive thing?

Having options is a good thing, regardless of other people making profit off them.

If you have clothing option #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6 and #7 for the same activity/weather, and I only have #1 and #2, this might mean you spending more on your options, but it means I have way less of them. In this instance YOU have an advantage.

And don't feel like you HAVE to own all 7 outfits. OCDness is not the responsibility of society.

And yes, its a female privilege (that I now have, too), to be able to wear more different types, colors, fabrics, lengths, cuts, of clothing. My wardrobe is huge and I'm on a budget - and spend very little on clothing. I still have HUGE choice compared to my boyfriend restricted to just a few, and barred from many (unless he's after a beating or open discrimination).

ETA: and DON'T say this means society hates women!
If it hated women, it would beat women who wear dresses and skirt even more than it does men.

[Zumi]

You picked a Lalafell which are so small short don't really have too many distinguishable features that let you differentiate male from female only the hair and even at that point its hard to tell. Most of the time I can't tell if a Lalafell is male or female.

[JemC]

Well if it's a very very very serious issue we do have two name slots. You might just name yourself Miss Sue or Lady Jenni? You know putting an effeminate title in the first name. Also, the game allows for us to abbreviate people's names. I don't know if anyone does this but just saying they might not even see your full name if they have abbreviations on.

[Orophin]

I tend to use "they" if I'm referring to a stranger, but in my own mind I just assume everyone is a guy unless I can hear them on voice chat, because let's face it, the majority of gamers are guys.

[Niwashi]

Whoh, long thread and I skipped a couple pages in the middle. Just a couple points:

EVERY player who has a female character has chosen to portray a female character, and the pronouns for females in English are she/her/hers.
EVERY player who has a male character has chosen to portray a male character, and the pronouns for males in English are he/him/his.
The player's real-life gender has absolutely no bearing on either of those statements.

If you go with the character's gender to choose your pronouns, then you are absolutely guaranteed to be correct. It may or may not be the only correct answer, but it is always a correct answer. For instance, when I (a female player) am playing Y'kayah or Navarre (male characters), then either set of pronouns is correct. (I prefer male pronouns in that case, as calling Y'kayah or Navarre "she" just sounds weird. But I can accept either as correct.) On the other hand, when I (as a female player) am playing Dylise or Tatala (female characters), then the only correct set of pronouns is the female ones. Similarly, when a male player has female characters, both sets of pronouns are correct, but when he plays male characters, only the male pronouns are correct.

So to everyone who's been arguing about what the default language usage is for when there's no information to indicate gender either way: Your arguments are irrelevant, because that's not the case here. (Well, it may be the case if you're talking about a /shout conversation where you don't see the character and can't tell from the name, but the OP was talking about when she's actually in a party with people and they still got it wrong.) If you know the character's gender, then you know of one correct set of pronouns, and another that may or may not also be correct. Go with the pronouns you know to be correct, i.e. the ones matching the character you're talking about.


Another point, this time regarding the likelihood of male players: Currently, video game players overall are only slightly more likely to be male. It's very close to half and half. However, it's the Action and Sports game genres that draw the most male players. Those two genres are overwhelming male dominated. But how do you suppose that males, who overwhelmingly dominate the most popular genre and another of the top few genres, are only barely hanging on to a majority overall? It's because other genres, like say RPGs for instance, have more female players. Face it guys, you're the ones in the minority here, and it's only the fact that most of the women you've been playing with haven't bothered to correct you that has allowed you to nurture the illusion that you're still the majority you may have been a few decades ago.

[Melithea]

It's because other genres, like say RPGs for instance, have more female players. Face it guys, you're the ones in the minority here, and it's only the fact that most of the women you've been playing with haven't bothered to correct you that has allowed you to nurture the illusion that you're still the majority you may have been a few decades ago.

MMOs are still majority male. Women make up ground by dominating in games like The Sims and Farmville, but they still don't touch the male numbers overall. Not that this is something they should be proud of if they did.

[RegnumMagik]

This is over dramatic. Theres absolutely no good reason to clearify your gender to the public on a MMO other than attention grabbing.

A good troll thread.