Being Gendered Correctly

[Qfox]

i dont get your topic meaning bro ... and people who play miqu'ote must be called it i believe ?!

[Suki-]

Hi Kimmy

This is just my opinion but you (and any player taking offence to being addressed incorrectly) shouldn't take people calling you a 'he' to heart. I'm sorry you're hurt but there's no ill intention behind it. It's an assumption that has been carved into the online community. If they make a mistake just correct them. Or write it in your comment box ^^

I'm a female gamer & have been called 'he/him/bro' what-have-you despite playing a female character with a female name. It doesn't bother me so I rarely correct them. Especially if it's DF randoms who I'll probably never see again.

I do agree with your point of addressing players by the gender of their characters. Unless told otherwise. And it's my assumption that there would be a lot of that haha

[silentwindfr]

personally i do use the gender of the character, since i can't be sure what is the gender of the person behind the character.

[Razzle]

im a male so I dont experience that like you do. And I do adress gender based on avatar. But putting myself in your shoes, I don't think I'd really care if people adressed me as she... It's just a game and they can't see who I really am so it's not like they do it on purpose. People join a run and want to get X content done, it's not like when ppl start a party they need to list their genders to not insult anyone that'd be silly imo.

If i got annoyed by it for whatever reason (which i doubt I would) I'd just tell them to adress me as male...

[Elvin]

I use "He" by default. I swap to "she" if I'm asked to do so.
And I'm not even thinking that when I say "He" is a male or when I'm say "She" is a female. I don't care at all. I'm just taking the option more probable.
Seeing this http://news.mmosite.com/content/2013...are_male.shtml I think is totally undestable.

Quick googlesearch talks about 60-40% split acording to BBC, but I think that they problably asked in game or something like that,acording to my experience is not true. I woud say 80%-20%

But anyway, this shoudn't be a big deal. No one shoud treat you diferently for being one gender or another, so what? If you feel insulted for an asumption based on a fact (most female characters are guys in R.L.) the problem is you actitude. I undertand that you can feel bad about it and you have a real life problem about it. But you have to take in mind that no one wants to insult you with this.You are the one who have to overcome that feeling.

[Lilysparkle]

I use "He" by default. I swap to "she" if I'm asked to do so.
And I'm not even thinking that when I say "He" is a male or when I'm say "She" is a female. I don't care at all. I'm just taking the option more probable.
Seeing this http://news.mmosite.com/content/2013...are_male.shtml I think is totally undestable.

Quick googlesearch talks about 60-40% split acording to BBC, but I think that they problably asked in game or something like that,acording to my experience is not true. I woud say 80%-20%

But anyway, this shoudn't be a big deal. No one shoud treat you diferently for being one gender or another, so what? If you feel insulted for an asumption based on a fact (most female characters are guys in R.L.) the problem is you actitude. I undertand that you can feel bad about it and you have a real life problem about it. But you have to take in mind that no one wants to insult you with this.You are the one who have to overcome that feeling.

Your post makes me a little sad if it's okay to say. Your attitude is a good example of how acclimatised we can become to everyday sexism. It's nice that you will change if you are asked, but the key phrase is "I'm not even thinking". It's just a default behavior for you, and that's the crux of it. Is it so hard to just use the pronoun associated with the character you're interacting with. The game isn't only populated by male characters. I just find it strange I guess. For me personally, "I'm not even thinking" when I choose to use he or she depending on the character gender. See the difference? It's not that hard. If they then correct me, and mention they'd prefer to be addressed a certain way, that is no problem at all! But to just use one pronoun exclusively despite the fact that there are female/male versions of all the races in the game, seems slightly weird in my opinion.

Regardless of the gender of the person behind the character, you're incorrectly identifying the gender of the character you're interacting with. To only ever immediately use one pronoun when you might be surrounded by female characters seems kind of odd. We may as well just have only male versions of every race. Maybe that's just me, and that's fine. Though do you maybe begin to see the point I'm making? I'm not trying to attack you or anything, just trying to let ppl see it a different way. I also don't think it's fair to declare to ppl "it shouldn't be a big deal". What a deal is to someone, whether big or small, is for them to decide. Btw the "option more probable" just seems to be a bit lazy to me. It means 20% of the time (the numbers you used), you're just flat out wrong.

(just an aside point.. if the game DID only have male versions of any race, then yes I would expect to be called "he" etc. However, not ironically, I probably wouldn't really play such a game in the first place unless I really, really liked some aspect or theme about it. Hi Geralt ;D )

Generally speaking, I don't mind any more - and the majority of ppl are respectful and courteous. For a time it bothered me a bit but it's something that we female gamers get accustomed to (and again, probably something most male gamers never even come to realise or think about). If it's a Duty Roulette and someone refers to me as "he" once or twice, I'm fine with it, because I'm unlikely to see these ppl ever again. I'm there to tank, heal or squish things, it doesn't really matter if I have boobs or not. Sure, if someone is repeatedly using "him" lots and lots of multiple times, I might be tempted to correct them, no matter the circumstances. Though sometimes I don't really like to draw attention to the fact and make it seem like it's a big deal to me, so sometimes I *will* actually stay silent - another effect that we have to deal with. Stay silent or look like you're making a fuss.

Otherwise, the other time I might say something is if I am doing stuff ingame regularly enough with this person that they should probably have the correct idea about me in their mind - but again only if they were using "he" repeatedly, etc. Hopefully that seems reasonable. A lot of the time, most of the ppl never draw any focus to gender and I'm totally fine with that.

I would always use character gender until corrected. And I will often use their first name. Someone wrote earlier about shortened versions of their name, and how that might bother them, and interestingly, I've always tried to use someone's full first name, even if in the middle of a fight where it's hectic and their name has apostrophes or is difficult to spell.

[Remilia_Nightfall]

Your post makes me a little sad if it's okay to say. Your attitude is a good example of how acclimatised we can become to everyday sexism.

And here we are, throwing the word "sexism" around once more.

Seriously, if whining about pronouns in an MMO is what "sexism" is about, I think we can safely say that sexism has been finally defeated, since this is hardly something problematic.

And honestly, if you start calling people according to the In Game sex, you are going to guess wrong most of the time, or at least definitely more than going always with "he".

So yeah, going "all male" is still the safest bet, as things stand currently. Get over it, there is no sexism involved, as already said no one cares if you are male or female. You are equally unimportant.

[Remilia_Nightfall]

I find that more often than not, transgender and gay people are way more sensibile to these issues compared to straight people.

This is nothing new, obviously, as we all know that in some parts of the world there is still a lot of discrimination.

However, trying to "force" things like the OP is doing is going to have the exact opposite result of what these people aim to achieve.

"Equality" does not mean "OMG you must speak to me in the way I WANT YOU TO". That's retarded and completely shortsighted.
Why should I bother accepting you for who you are, if you try and force me to do so? No chance in hell I am going to - on the contrary, I will most likely start trolling you.

Seems to me the OP is taking all this way TOO personal - most of the people you find online do not care if you are man, woman, gay, trans or dolphin. You are not that important to them - you are a bunch of pixels, and some of those pixels have MORE pixels to indicate they have boobs. That's all.

And by the way, I am a male - and I usually play female characters. Why, you ask? 'cause I like catgirls, like the majority of the playerbase of FFXIV :P

[Elvin]

most of the people you find online do not care if you are man, woman, gay, trans or dolphin.

Wise words.

[Teroril]

Ï refer to characters by their gender (or the percieved gender of their name, if I don't know the gender of the character) usually. It's just easier that way. The way I see it, I'm talking to their character and not them per se. If they're guys being miffed about being referred to as 'she' or 'her' because they picked a female character, then perhaps they should think twice, next time they make a new character.