Being Gendered Correctly

[Macka]

Seriously, some people need to get some thicker skin.

It's an honest mistake, deal with it.

Jesus.

Who Hey Zeus

[Pandastirfry]

English is not my native tongue so this is a honest question.

Is referring to someone as "that guy" gender neutral?
If not then what would you suggest would be gender neutral term in situations where you're not sure who's playing the character?

Technically... Yes... Idiomaticaly ... No.

Really the only way to do it is "that person" or "them" with the latter being the least exact as "them" or "they" has various different uses.
Basically, using the dictionary definition, "Guy" in its singular form is gender specific, meaning a man or boy, conversely in its plural form it is defined as gender neutral, as persons of either sex. To make matters even more complex, specifically in video games, "Guy" is often used as a slang term for character sprites or "lives" regardless of gender of the character being referred to.
This is one of the reasons English is a confusing language to most non-native speakers. Our abundance of homophones, lack of gender specific nouns/verb tenses, and baffleing grammatical rules between spoken and written can make it difficult. (For even native speakers in some cases)

[Noshpan]

Regardless of what gender I choose to play for my characters, I am frequently referred to as "he". I don't bother correcting strangers. I don't need to correct people who already know me, whom have heard me speak. Sometimes I prefer it so that I won't get the "ur a gurl? tits or gtfo", "oh u dont want to sho pics? must be fat & ugly lol" or any other string of derogatory language regarding my biological gender.

[Rynia]

Unfortunately for you OP, the rules and norms around gendering people correctly are actually not very well-known at all outside of the trans community. It must hurt, but really you have no choice but to just put up with it - social norms aren't going to change that quickly, even on the internet. Especially on the internet xD The vast majority of people have never even encountered a trans person (knowingly, at least) and thus are unaware of the struggles you face so won't even think twice before just assuming something about someone's gender.

As this thread has shown already, you won't get much sympathy here. I wish it were otherwise =/

I personally just go by character gender. If I misgender someone and they tell me, I'll roll with it. A lot of people actually assume I'm a bloke for whatever reason xD

[Kimmy_Dee]

Why should I be okay with an "honest mistake" when people in this very thread say they will make no attempt whatsoever to avoid repeating that mistake in the future.

That's a bit too deliberate to be called a mistake at this point. Your actions have results, which you have been made aware of, and if you continue the same actions you do so knowing they will continue to have those results. That's not a mistake. That's laziness at best.

[Penguinmayhem]

English doesn't have a convenient non-gender-specific third-person pronoun like Japanese does. So it's either pick one and risk offending someone, or say "it". And nobody takes very kindly to being called "it".

[Merle]

I usually agree with this kind of topics, but this time... i think OP is making a mountain out of a molehill...

I call character by their gender. Female character: "She". Male character "he". If they correct me i'll change. Maybe i'll forget it 2 days laters since i have bad memory, not because laziness.

99% of my friends on this kind of games are guys, so i use "he" as default because i'm used to it. I'm not trying to offend a female player. People can't know your situation if you don't tell them, so correct them if it offends you, but... really, almost every player will call you "he" by default and there is no bad intention there. """"""Deal with it"""""".

[Dijana]

Im a female gamer, and eventually I just stopped caring. I'll admit I quite often assume people are male, a lot of the time I'm not actually paying attention to the character itself. I certainly dont assume everyone on the internet is a man, but it seems more common. Pretty much every friend I've made on ff14 who I thought was a woman turned out to be a man once I heard them on voice chat. I really don't think it's something to be offended about if they just call you he and they're randoms.

But like I said, if they're RANDOMS. People you just get matched with in DF? Sure its annoying but who cares, I can tell you there are people out there who would get offended if people were asking them if they really were female, some of whom probably are the same ones who get offended at being called he without question (aka some people just want an excuse to be offended, not saying that about anyone in particular here). If they're people in your fc or who you regularly hang out with? Yes they should at least learn what to call you. If you correct them at some point, whether they be random df people or fc-mates, and they come up with some stupid line 'lol there's no girls on the internet' THEN I'd be annoyed.

Sadly that last one seems to happen quite often :/

[Chokee]

i call everyone by their character's forename.

[Seif]

Why should I be okay with an "honest mistake" when people in this very thread say they will make no attempt whatsoever to avoid repeating that mistake in the future.

That's not a mistake.

She has a point there. Still even with the instructions someone said to my questions about pronouns I can tell for a fact that I don't see people using those gender neutral ways of writing ever. I can only assume it's not natural way of writing to one another in English. (?)

I would say that endure it the first time but if it bothers you correct them and after that it really is okay to assume they should know.

This is not about the OP's character but as a personal note I would assume someone named Kimmy is female. Kim however could be either way so that's one instance where I might easily make that mistake.
Also thanks to the OP for bringing this up! Really it's great and that's something that I didn't even think about before you spoke up =)