This game is just way to hard...

[Gormogon]

Doesn't matter if they are instant or not when DD lbs are the best route to go due to all the DPS checks.

It does matter. Also DPS LB is the "optimal" alternative doesn't mean you're forced to do it every time.

It's like telling me you can't do brayflox hardmode speed runs with a summoner in the party.

in ffxi you had to memorize this.

Not hard to do especially with how slow FFXI's battle system was.

You just need to memorize the portion that matters to you and how it applies to the party you're in.
Print and pin it to a wall nearby
Macroing it in
Someone with good memory directing people when to do their part over a VoIP

Not anywhere near as difficult as having to react on a moments notice. You can be told to expect it but sometimes even that isn't enough.