Strangers everywhere u go

[AiChyan]

Oh man, this thread keep delivering.

Let's share ze popcorn

[Vynym]

Having run with Yumi before (granted it was only once) and being the "other healer" in the 8 man, I felt compelled to add my two cents.


In re: straining the "other" healer-
Many have commented that you strain the other healer being spec'd in the +vit way. I would have to agree, having been that other healer. I remember when you filled in on our fc's raid day when we were missing our normal 2nd healer. The whole time I'm in our voice program, getting increasingly frustrated. "Guys, I feel like I'm solo healing this! Where's my help! Omg, wtf is going on!" The bard was going on about, "Veni, I'm having to mana song way more than usual, why are you using so much more mana than usual? Stop it!" Etc etc. Then someone noticed what the problem was: you were wearing fending gear. Mystery solved.

In rebuttal, you claim that "I'm fine up to T4 and Levi X." Did you ever consider that perhaps you're being carried by some really stellar people up to that point. Having experienced what I did with you, I can only assume that's what's happening. It's not a "toot my own horn" moment for you, Yumi. What you really should be saying is, "I lucked out by finding people that were strong enough to carry me all this way" because I sincerely feel it wasn't your stellar healing stats that were doing the trick.

In re: "I'm the last whm standing lolololol" type comments-
I'm sincerely surprised that no one has picked up on this (and maybe they did and I missed it, which is entirely possible) but....

Maybe if you were actually pulling your healing weight/living up to the classes potential with all the correct stat-ing you could have SAVED those people with your heals. To me, when you say "I was the last one standing" or "I was the last healer standing" it says to me you weren't doing your job properly. Yes, people can still die and there's nothing us healers could do about it (i.e. ohhh is this a plume or a chocolate puddle let me bathe in it and see..." type of crap does happen), but that aside, maybe if you were actually HEALING instead of SURVIVING on your HP POOL, you wouldn't have been standing alone.

What I'm saying is, maybe your lack of healing CREATED those "I was the last one standing" moments, which as a WHM you should NOT be proud of. Moments like that to be proud of is when stuff hits the fan and your TANK is the last one standing b/c you did your job to the fullest despite the terrible circumstances that came to pass. I would be embarrassed if my tank died before me. Just sayin....

Conclusion-
Am I sorry you feel the way you do about not "fitting in" or "finding friends to run with?" Yes I am. Sincerely. I know it's an awful feeling.

Do I think it's because the way you choose to play your class? Very possibly. At least for our fc, that was paramount to our decision not to invite you. You seem personable, but there was simply no freaking way our raid group was going to go through that healing hell every single raid day. Nope. You did say you have a fully healing set, but you chose not to wear it. You CHOSE to make us struggle. Not a great way to make a first impression, I'm afraid :/

Do I hope you find happiness? I sure do. I hope you can find a perfect for you group that can/is willing to deal with what you can bring to the table, but honestly, I think you're going to need a massive amount of luck in finding that group, all things considered.

You know, you WOULD still have a choice as to what healing gear you went with if you got rid of that fending. You could go crit strong or determination/ss strong. It's not as if changing your stats to all healing leaves you without a choice / niche, if that's what you're worried about.

[CodeCass]

How did the Bagel thread get deleted but this is still going???

[Risvertasashi]

How did this thread become that tanky healer thread? Eh, I've already responded to that nonsense. Anyway, here's a genuine response and observation regarding sociability on FFXIV

Basically, her playstyle is impacting her sociability, or at least the way she wants to be social. Many of us here are trying to help her see that and provide paths to improve her situation...
As mentioned, if she just joined a casual FC, it really wouldn't be an issue, but it does become an issue when you want to do coil (yes, even the first one..), etc...

Maybe if you were actually pulling your healing weight/living up to the classes potential with all the correct stat-ing you could have SAVED those people with your heals. To me, when you say "I was the last one standing" or "I was the last healer standing" it says to me you weren't doing your job properly. Yes, people can still die and there's nothing us healers could do about it (i.e. ohhh is this a plume or a chocolate puddle let me bathe in it and see..." type of crap does happen), but that aside, maybe if you were actually HEALING instead of SURVIVING on your HP POOL, you wouldn't have been standing alone.

There are actually posts in her history about letting the tank or other healer die to teach them a lesson... After reading the OPs and thinking she sounded pretty nice, I was kind of shocked... but that sort of attitude also contributes to the problem, I think.

[Dhex]

Victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy for your deficiencies and negative attitude will only exacerbate your problems.

I'd advise you to seek help from a fellow White Mage on your gear, play-style, and your overall attitude in a party setting. Be willing to adjust to fulfill the role expected of you as a healer and I guarantee you'll have a better time.


When you consistently encounter a negative response to something you're doing - you're probably doing something very wrong... consistently.

[AiChyan]

I'm sincerely surprised that no one has picked up on this (and maybe they did and I missed it, which is entirely possible) but....

People argued with her over this in the tanky healer thread, of course the lolololol comments were the only responses they received.

Frankly, I thought she was a troll, but reading the responses from her old FC member and people who ran with her.. wow.

[Risvertasashi]

Victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy for your deficiencies and negative attitude will only exacerbate your problems.

I'd advise you to seek help from a fellow White Mage on your gear, play-style, and your overall attitude in a party setting. Be willing to adjust to fulfill the role expected of you as a healer and I guarantee you'll have a better time.


When you consistently encounter a negative response to something you're doing - you're probably doing something very wrong... consistently.

She's already heard lots from us healers...

[Ghishlain]

You need to establish normal relations with fellow players and potential friends first. It sounds like you are expecting everyone you meet to accept and adjust their playing to accomodate your preferential "quirks".

If you really want to make and keep friends for the sake of playing with, you need to tone down your agenda and prove to people that you are a decent person AND player. If you can show people you're competent and capable, THEN you can start expressing your thoughts and feelings about your... "customization". If said people truly admire you as a friend, then maybe they'd be interested in seeing what you can do with it.

Overall, remember that just because you think a certain way, your potential friends can perceive it differently. Be mindful and respectful of people you want to develop long-lasting friendships with. You'll acquire true respect if you do.

Mimicking the words here. If you prove your worth to your allies and friends and they respect your desires, you will get the opportunities to do just that. That's what happened to me in XI (melee WHM, GO!), and I imagine my friends allow me similar recourse in XIV if I were to desire it.

[Vynym]

People argued with her over this in the tanky healer thread, of course the lolololol comments were the only responses they received.

Frankly, I thought she was a troll, but reading the responses from her old FC member and people who ran with her.. wow.

I just took a few minutes and looked over that thread. I saw what your were talking about. Considering there was already a not well received thread about tanky healing and now this thread about socialization woes as a result of said tanky healing, I am now wondering if this, like the tanky healing post, is ... well it seems like both, really, are attempts at gaining validation or momentum for a gearing choice that isn't viable. It's like two different ways of attacking the same issue. At least it feels that way to me :/

[Ceinwyn]

After watching this vid, It made me wish I would of stuck around longer to see the story after COP.
FFXI cutscenes and story were just too awesome.

Yes thats's true and it is still awesome, also trust npcs make it possible to play the game even when there is noone to play wih u. Nice vid btw (:
And yes FFXIV is like mcdonalds lol good Point and everyone who thinks bad about FFXI, yes its a bit grindy and requires some time and work but its more worth is to play as most mmorpgs These days, if u dont want to spend some time waiting for a Party, u wont get the good stuff either, just crap like a dungeon finder with Zero Feelings and Zero anything.... most People wont understand this anyway, probably wasting my time but im thankful i was able to experience ffxi in my childhood