Strangers everywhere u go

[Ghishlain]

You need to establish normal relations with fellow players and potential friends first. It sounds like you are expecting everyone you meet to accept and adjust their playing to accomodate your preferential "quirks".

If you really want to make and keep friends for the sake of playing with, you need to tone down your agenda and prove to people that you are a decent person AND player. If you can show people you're competent and capable, THEN you can start expressing your thoughts and feelings about your... "customization". If said people truly admire you as a friend, then maybe they'd be interested in seeing what you can do with it.

Overall, remember that just because you think a certain way, your potential friends can perceive it differently. Be mindful and respectful of people you want to develop long-lasting friendships with. You'll acquire true respect if you do.

Mimicking the words here. If you prove your worth to your allies and friends and they respect your desires, you will get the opportunities to do just that. That's what happened to me in XI (melee WHM, GO!), and I imagine my friends allow me similar recourse in XIV if I were to desire it.

[JemC]

Sorry u're havn a hard time Yum. Might try making your own FC. I did and I've been happy every since. Well, where I'm not happy is all this stupid grinding but it's not people related unhappy, lolz. Keep your chin up. Making friends isn't easy or sometimes possible but that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you. And I wouldn't listen to those silly pro obsessed people. Tough games make for anxty know-it-alls.

[Daenerys_Sedai]

How did this thread become that tanky healer thread? Eh, I've already responded to that nonsense. Anyway, here's a genuine response and observation regarding sociability on FFXIV

A) Technology has greatly developed since earlier MMO days. Many people I know hardly say anything in random PUGs/DF parties and even in FC chat because they're on some Voice Comm
B) The channels of chat in FFXIV are numerous. With 8 LSes, an FC, party and occasional tell, it's hard to pay attention to any number of conversations that are being carried on. In FFXI, you had party chat and your LS. You might have been in multiple LSs but you had to equip that other LS to read anything.
C) Cross Server DFs - due to the way everyone treats DF (going in with no expectations of success, efficiency, etc.), the most fun is typically had in DF because people aren't uptight about putting up the fastest numbers, etc. Unfortunately, those people you just had a great time with, you'll never see or speak to again (well, highly unlikely at least).

[Risvertasashi]

How did this thread become that tanky healer thread? Eh, I've already responded to that nonsense. Anyway, here's a genuine response and observation regarding sociability on FFXIV

Basically, her playstyle is impacting her sociability, or at least the way she wants to be social. Many of us here are trying to help her see that and provide paths to improve her situation...
As mentioned, if she just joined a casual FC, it really wouldn't be an issue, but it does become an issue when you want to do coil (yes, even the first one..), etc...

Maybe if you were actually pulling your healing weight/living up to the classes potential with all the correct stat-ing you could have SAVED those people with your heals. To me, when you say "I was the last one standing" or "I was the last healer standing" it says to me you weren't doing your job properly. Yes, people can still die and there's nothing us healers could do about it (i.e. ohhh is this a plume or a chocolate puddle let me bathe in it and see..." type of crap does happen), but that aside, maybe if you were actually HEALING instead of SURVIVING on your HP POOL, you wouldn't have been standing alone.

There are actually posts in her history about letting the tank or other healer die to teach them a lesson... After reading the OPs and thinking she sounded pretty nice, I was kind of shocked... but that sort of attitude also contributes to the problem, I think.

[CodeCass]

How did the Bagel thread get deleted but this is still going???

[Dhex]

Victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy for your deficiencies and negative attitude will only exacerbate your problems.

I'd advise you to seek help from a fellow White Mage on your gear, play-style, and your overall attitude in a party setting. Be willing to adjust to fulfill the role expected of you as a healer and I guarantee you'll have a better time.


When you consistently encounter a negative response to something you're doing - you're probably doing something very wrong... consistently.

[Risvertasashi]

Victimizing yourself and seeking sympathy for your deficiencies and negative attitude will only exacerbate your problems.

I'd advise you to seek help from a fellow White Mage on your gear, play-style, and your overall attitude in a party setting. Be willing to adjust to fulfill the role expected of you as a healer and I guarantee you'll have a better time.


When you consistently encounter a negative response to something you're doing - you're probably doing something very wrong... consistently.

She's already heard lots from us healers...

[Zhi]

Lol this was good, u guys still got some popcorn left?

[AiChyan]

Lol this was good, u guys still got some popcorn left?

Feeling like the official popcorn supplier right now.

[Ghishlain]

Feeling like the official popcorn supplier right now.

For some reason, I thought you said Subligar there >.>;...