The problem is simple to explain :

When you crash for whatever reason (it can appened), the character stay online a while.
And that's ok, I understand.
But even after trying to connect back, the character stay online a while, and you cant connect till he's disconnected.

And the problem is easy to resolve (in my eyes) :

Just make a " kick " of the ghost when you're trying to connect, and then, on second try, you'll be able to connect, instead of trying 20times.

It is really annoying when it's appening in donjons/boss fight, and the kick of ghost is something that I saw in every game I played, it should be like this here also, I dont see any reason why it shouldn't (not like it's something hard to do right ?)