Retainer based crimes, an Eorzean epidemic

[Slatervonjager]

Have you sent a retainer out on a venture, only for them to return bearing gifts of furniture, housing materials, clothing, or high level weapons? You sir may be employing a thief.

Everyday, thousands of innocent Eorzeans have their FC houses broken into, and their furnishings stolen, or they're robbed of their equipment while they innocently slumber. Some of these victims can barely afford to feed their families, let alone afford new weapons.

If your retainer gifts you with suspicious items, please report it. Put a stop to Retainer based crimes today.





NOTE: This is a joke. If you actually think retainers are stealing mog axes from people, or that a random FC house is suddenly missing it's roof, I feel bad for you. My FC and I had a huge laugh yesterday about where our retainers are finding all this stuff, and just made a big joke out of it. DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, just posting it because these forums could use some lightheartedness.

[TeaTimeBear]

Very informative read. I was under the assumption my retainers had discovered a giving tree.

[DarkStar]

Wait wait wait...You mean all those Bronze Allaghan Coins my retainer was finding WEREN'T discovered in old ruins?

[Noshpan]

Erm... *hides the HQ crafting materials* Who ever owned these subligar pants that my lady Miqo'te retainer found... they can have it back.

[Arkghyom]

They will make money grow on trees, beware!

[Vaer]

Wait wait wait...You mean all those Bronze Allaghan Coins my retainer was finding WEREN'T discovered in old ruins?

I was wondering where all the market board taxes were going. It all makes sense now.

[NaliaBrown]

I think my retainers are mad at me. The last time I sent them out on "quick exploration" quests, they brought back low-level fish, and neither of them are fisherpeople.

[Astralos]

Phew! I was starting to think that my retainers were murderers, with all the Lalafell corpses they were bringing back. It's comforting to know that they're just finding them inside random chests!

I think my retainers are mad at me. The last time I sent them out on "quick exploration" quests, they brought back low-level fish, and neither of them are fisherpeople.

The skimpier their outfits, the higher their Affection ratings will be. This is totally not a lie.

[Nanaya]

Retainer came back last night with some i70 Warwolf casting gloves, so apparently she's bodying people in the Wolves' Den.

[Madoka]

My retainer brought back a whole wall last night. I question how she carried it.