Okay I am about done with tanking

[SpookyGhost]

Doesn't sound like you OT this often.

As someone who does OT this often, it's really a lot simpler than people make it out to be. You only need to grab the spiders if the PLD tanking is undergeared, but if you do all it takes is a little communication. Have the healers stack away from the Dreads, grab the K/S when they spawn, run to the healers, and Steel Cyclone. You don't even need to spam OP, the best method I've found is to only do the one SC, then while you're pulling the mobs away pop Vengeance and Bloodbath (Berserk if you want) -> Infuriate -> SC again. You can also do drive-by Flashes and OPs to maintain hate until the first Dread is dead.

[Orophin]

The groups I'm usually in have the OT stand near the healers for Phase 6 because HoTs and heals are naturally going to draw everything near them. OT quick picks them up (everything but the Rook, DPS can handle this on their own with Limit Break and a little more damage) and the OT kites the Soldier/Knight/bugs from 12 o'clock to 6 o'clock on the minimap until the Dread from Phase 5 is dead. After that Dread is dead, OT pulls the spiders up to the other Dread to feed them and then DPS burn the Knight/Soldier then back to final Dread.

Other groups have had us killing the Knight/Dread and the bugs without feeding them, another group positions the healers in a spot where the spiders will run past the Dread that's already been nuked down some and feed to the new Dread, another group will use ranged DPS such as Bard to damage the bugs and forcefully bring them to the new Dread. It all comes down to preference and what people are comfortable with.

[Tiggy]

My groups have the white mages, or one who is going to cast a big spell specifically to pull hate, stand with me in the center of the arena. Then I just grab them off the healer. No matter what they can't let up healing the main tank in this fight. Any group that things you can magically grab everything when it is B-lining straight to the healers is going to have a bad time.

[VargasVermillion]

Regardless of weather it's your fault or not (it isn't, they should be in the middle or at least somewhere you can take aggro on everything quickly.) I wouldn't give it up over it, if you like doing it stick with it. One of the things you have to deal with as a tank is backlash on screw ups, i even expect it from groups that didn't even go off at me or even blame me but at least that way it won't surprise you.

I've encounted some pretty illogical dps that knew nothing of aggro or even boss mechanics. One example is a black mage on aurum vale that didn't understand that the cyclops will attack random targets regardless of aggro and didn't know how to dodge the eye aoes and he was blaming me for not taking aggro, so instead he attacked the boss before i could grab aggro and proceeded to kite around the arena making it harder to snatch it off.

[Heroicbandit]

Any advice? Do I just suck too much?

There's a few ways to do it but it sounds like they're being jerks. While in my static, I take the spiders but we have our MNK LB the Rook. I usually round the spiders up by pulling them off the healer since they typically make a B line for one of them. If they stand together, all the better. Kiting 2 extra spiders with the knight/soldier doesn't add that much stress on me. It doesn't sound like its you and I think most tanks have had their fair share of people thinking they know how to do your job better than you even though they aren't doing it.

[Marxam]

get the healers to stack with you in the center so when they aggro on you use Flash > Steel Cyclone > Infuriate > Steel Cyclone > Overpower (two or three times) > Defensive cds.

[Judge_Xero]

Couple things.

P5 Dread and P5 K/S should not both be alive in P6. One or the other or neither bot not both.
Only leave the bugs up if you killed the T5 Dread. There's too much spike damage to heal when tanking double dread for the OT to effeciently grab all mobs.
If you kill the T5 K/S and don't let the T5 Dread eat any bugs then it's easy to just have the healers stand beside where the T6 Dread drops and have the bugs run and get eaten.

So really there isn't much point in the OT trying to grab the bugs. If you don't want the bugs eaten then have each DD grab a bug/Rook gather them up and mage LB with surecast.

OP, you sound like a competent tank so don't give up. Just be aware of your own limitations and don't let others make you feel like a bad tank for not doing the impossible.
T4:P6 Breakdown - OT trying to gather all mobs

Mobs up - Dread from P5 -- New Mobs - Dread, K/S, 2xBugs, Rook

So, the OT could start in the west, grab the Knight as it falls, which is a free GCD before any of the mobs start moving. Healers stacked in the center so mobs run there. OT runs to the center as the mobs are running. Double Steel Cyclone (probably Berserked) Very solid Enmity in just 2 GCD once mobs become active.

Cons - MT healer will still be constantly heal bombing the MT for P5 Dread so there is risk that they will be hit by spiders and AOE pull-in from S/K causing healing to be interrupted and MT dead. Both healers will be damaged and interrupted. Tank will most likely end up with full Enmity on the Rook, so having to dodge Pox.

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OT Grabbing new S/K. Start in the middle, grab Soldier. Run west Grab Knight. Sit in the West position kiting S/K
Bard South East - Unload on west most bug - use Second Wind etc as required
BLM South East - Unload on center bug - use Manawall - Surecast LB all mobs
Melee - Unload on Rook, stay in position, dodge Pox, use Defensive CD's, wait for Caster LB

So ~2GCD after mobs start moving. Tank has all S/K, healers are in a safe position keeping both tanks alive. 2XBug and Rook are getting LB'd and will be gone soon.

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OT pulling all mobs without using the healers as bait.

Grab center Soldier when it falls. Grab (West) Knight before mobs start moving. Voke Center bug and use Steel Cyclone to catch last bug in SW. Shield Lob SE bug and Infuriate Steel Cyclone again.

So this requires 4 GCD after mobs start moving to secure the mobs. It also requires you to target a mob behind yourself from the opposite end of the arena as well as perfect timing to catch the last bug in your Steel Cyclone AOE. Also, if you healer ends up critting heals, you probably wont be able to pull the last bug with just a Voke + Shield Lob (better hope you have a Scholar as MT healer).

So 4 GCD - high risk - less mobs dead - more OT damage taken.
PROs - Tank Epeen "I got all dem mobs."

[Ran1880]

also use internal release to do more dmg in combi with bloodbath when Berserk is on cd

[Avenol]

Just have the group stack behind where the 2nd dread will drop and feed the spiders to the new dread, have the melee dps limit the rook as soon as it drops and the dps just burn the rook, then switch to 1st dread, solider/knight, then last dread///finish. OT should only have to grab solider/knight.

[Akirakogami]

They wanted you to grab the rook?

Party is bad. I understand getting the spiders. However, you should ABSOLUTELY not grab the rook too. You are 100% going to die if the rook is damaging you while you try to kite.