Greetings everyone

I couldn't go another day without writing to my fellow FFXIV players, I've literally been everywhere doing everything for everyone every time I gotta, promoting ALL THE THINGS. After going through my favorite thread in the dev forums, "Buttless in Lominsa", I began to realize that we made a grave mistake in reducing the voluptuousness of the people of Eorzea. We will now be implementing the quest-line, "A Buttocks Reborn" to remedy the problem! With the introduction of "A Buttocks Reborn", the adventurers of Eorzea will gain the opportunity to obtain the illustrious "Hydaelyn Crystal Subligar" which, through myriad trials which involve hours of FATEful encounters with your favorite monsters, fills you out with the power of the crystal! Each race will be required to eat different foods to promote healthy weight gain!

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for a twerk break. PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

Naoki Yoshida, OUT!