Not sure how to handle the new player hate.

[Jinko]

its runoff from wow, just give it some time, they'll go back home

It's actually not, you rarely see that behavior in WoW these days, you used to though.

This game is actually a lot more toxic than WoW.
(I would say its comes from FF11 actually, because that sort of behavior existed a lot more than it did in WoW)

To the OP, you need to find yourself a good FC or group of people to do stuff with together, using DF is one of the worst things you can do in this game tbh.