thanks info everybody, I ended up having to change my sleeping schedule to wake up at 6am in the morning est just to do horizon behest with Japanese players until I got high enough to solo it. Once I could solo it (conjurer around 24/25) I grinded horizon behest until 29 when I could start leve-linking with my guild and now things are moving along.

(nobody showed up to level 30 behests)
(my guildies didn't have anything to level with me prior to 30)
(I had to solo the 20 behest to level 28 on my thaum too)
(was never able to find somebody to duo nanawa with me)