Purchase and Install the game from Steam.
Run it, log in, and upon clicking the "Play" button, I get the following before the client will even load. No black screen, no window popping up, just the EXACT moment I click the "Play" button,

"FINAL FANTASY XIV: A Realm Reborn Has Stopped Working."

Problem signature:
Problem Event Name: APPCRASH
Application Name: ffxiv.exe
Application Version: 1.0.0.0
Application Timestamp: 5306d9ee
Fault Module Name: ntdll.dll
Fault Module Version: 6.1.7601.18247
Fault Module Timestamp: 521ea8e7
Exception Code: c0000005
Exception Offset: 000401b8
OS Version: 6.1.7601.2.1.0.256.49
Locale ID: 1033
Additional Information 1: 0a9e
Additional Information 2: 0a9e372d3b4ad19135b953a78882e789
Additional Information 3: 0a9e
Additional Information 4: 0a9e372d3b4ad19135b953a78882e789