Bad reasoning to begin with. The fang earrings thing I can understand, well, once stuff like spike earrings became easier to get rather than be subject to the sad rule HQs followed in XI. The NQ Amemet mantle, no. Not when the HQ was much, much more expensive. On Asura when I was leveling the HQ mantle was seven or eight times what the mantle was worth NQ before the introduction of stuff like forager's mantle. I hated the "farm beehive chips between level ranges so that people don't wrongfully consider you a gimp" aspect of that mess.
Gear elitism is fine in the context of endgame. I've been there as well and put in my time to research my options and went with what worked for me.If that was "stressful" then there's no way you'd make it at endgame.
Bad reasoning, and has been debunked. You could hit the level cap and still not know how to play your class. Forced partying had nothing to do with the "training" one needed to actually be useful at the level cap.The skills you learned in Valkurm Dunes and Qufim Island built up to ready you for Garliage Citadel etc. There was a progression. It may have seemed like a grind but you did get to go to new places and fight different monsters. There was a social element to it because if you were doing something wrong or were new to an area people would help you.