You seem to have the mentality that "you dont need good equips to tank" but you actually DO. IIRC, threat is heavily dependant on your weapon's auto atack status. Your current weapon (assuming you didnt get a new one) is 29.38, while a Curtana +0 is 34.03. That alone is enough to increase your threat generation BIG time. There are no excuses for equips. You as a tank has a near insta-queue on dungeons. Main Scenario Duty Roulette nets you 300 philosophy tomes everyday, Crystal Tower nets you 200 EACH run. Just by doing it once a day you have 500 philosohy tomes (even more if you do CT more times). You should take advantage and do Crystal Tower, since, besides Bone Dragon (and maybe that iron giant boss) the whole fight doesnt need 6 HEAVILY equiped tanks. Hell, in most fights they dont even need that many tanks at all. If you do that, in 2... maybe 3 days you have enough for a full darklight set.
I don't think you are a bad player but you cant go in with ilv50 gear and expect to tank from ilv85+ people, you just can't. As for the rage of halone thinguie, there IS some truth in your words. If you shield lob for that initial threat, then Flash and use 1 or 2 rage of halones out of the combo is enough to keep hate long enough so you can build aggro (using the FULL combo) on the boss.
What im trying to say is: you are not a bad player ( I can only assume, since we never played together), you just need better equips.
I know this wasn't directed at me, but I started playing on 2.0 and didn't have the issues you did (even tho im legacy, i never played much 1.0, besides, they are both completely different games). When I was having issue tanking is because I was wearing ilv38 gear (when I was lv50) and ilv50 weapon and people already had ifrit/garuda (or even relic). But once I started getting better gear, that started to affect less and less.