FC shop. Really go through those ad threads on this site and others. You need to find a group thats compatible with you. Steer clear of "hard core" groups if you are going for a more social aspect. Find a FC that is semi hard core and maybe not to big. I find the bigger the FC the harder it is to get to know your fellow players. Try to find a FC that uses voice chat often, and use it! People that talk "outside" of game get to know each other faster and better. I do sympathize with you though, I had the same problem in WoW, I guild hopped for ages trying to find that group. I never did find them, which saddened me, because I was very close to my fellow players from FF11. Thankfully thats not a problem in this game, I play with a great group of people.

There are FC's out there that will fit you. Dont give up. Good luck finding what you are looking for.