Social dynamics in FF14: A reflection and open question

[SerenitySilvermoon]

Hello everyone,

I apologize for being wordy, but I'd love to hear your opinions.

Realm Reborn has many different personalities. I have met a few people who were great, but part of an FC that didn't seem welcoming. After leaving these FCs, I lose contact with them. This has been my experience over and over again. I have transferred servers in hopes that it would change it's the same issue.

I'll elaborate: I am introduced to the group but quickly realize that I'm an outsider. After a week, I am ignored by other members. Greetings are only exchanged between other members, and conversations are noninclusive.

I continue to play but feel like a lone wolf. Sometimes it's empowering and other times it's sad.

Currently I am facing the same problem. I wonder if it's something I am doing wrong. Am I expecting too much? Am I looking at the social dynamics of an mmo in the wrong way?

Thanks for reading through this long post.

[astrobearthe2nd]

i find older FCs to be harder to make friends. i went thru 4 fc before settling with the one i have. my advice is to find newly fresh FCs that just started.

edit lol Op your post isnt long at all. in fact, it rather short

[Muzy]

It is, unfortunately, a very common problem, though it is hardly restricted to MMO's.

People come in, make friends and then once they have friends, they tend to not stray outside that circle of friends, even to the point of excluding people being brought into their FC/Guild/Clan/whatever.

[Muzy]

Something else to keep in mind, you have to put yourself out there as well, don't just join an FC and expect them to include you in activities and such if you do not make the effort to put yourself in a position where you become known to them. I've seen this far too many times, someone joins an FC, never says a word, for weeks at a time, so no one knows who the hell they are, and then leaves. And when asked why they left, "No one ever said hello, or asked me if I wanted to do anything..." Remember, it's a two way street, you HAVE to make yourself visible, absolutely have to, in order to make friends, especially in MMO's.

[SerenitySilvermoon]

Both good replies. Thank you.

In response to Muzy: I have wondered about what I'm doing wrong. In some cases, I think I may have been too silent. But then I think about it and at first, I have tried to say hi, and then never get a response. I think that it's because everyone is busy, but then a certain person comes on and they are greeted is multiple exclamation points. Same thing with asking for help and stuff. I've tried to be helpful, but the problem is that no one needs a new person's help. They already have that in their older FC members.

Regardless, I will be mindful of that in the future. Just wish it were a little easier to deal with.

[Muzy]

It is definitely not all that easy, but keep your chin up and keep looking, you will find something that suits you. Like astrobear said, newer FC's are usually a good idea, though, not always, as they can fall apart rather quickly.

I recommend checking your server subforum for FC's that might be a good fit, and also wander over the the Super General Discussion thread in this area, a fair number of people in there are from Balmung and are rather friendly, see if any of them might be happy to bring you into the fold there.

[Yurikitty]

FC shop. Really go through those ad threads on this site and others. You need to find a group thats compatible with you. Steer clear of "hard core" groups if you are going for a more social aspect. Find a FC that is semi hard core and maybe not to big. I find the bigger the FC the harder it is to get to know your fellow players. Try to find a FC that uses voice chat often, and use it! People that talk "outside" of game get to know each other faster and better. I do sympathize with you though, I had the same problem in WoW, I guild hopped for ages trying to find that group. I never did find them, which saddened me, because I was very close to my fellow players from FF11. Thankfully thats not a problem in this game, I play with a great group of people.

There are FC's out there that will fit you. Dont give up. Good luck finding what you are looking for.

[PArcher]

Like others have said, this isn't something that is just in ARR, this is something that happens everywhere; online and IRL.

You do have to find people you "mesh" with; play with people (join PFs), chat with people, join Linkshells if you can, ask about people's FCs. Be chatty...but not too chatty.

I would try looking at smaller FCs over the larger ones; larger FCs tend to be very impersonal and you are more or less just another member outside the core. Smaller ones you can get a better feel for the group and maybe fit in better.

But you probably will have to look for a long while; don't give up, though, there are people out there. You just have to have the good fortune of finding them.

[SerenitySilvermoon]

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. The feedback has been most inspiring and enlightening.

[BlackHaloJT]

Tough topic to answer. I started in Version 1 and had a great linkshell. Most of us kept in touch through guildwork even a simple hello here and there. At relaunch of ARR 2 years later those that stayed on the server were all in a FC started by old linkshell members. First few weeks were fine after that it turned into the inner circle that played nonstop just farming tomes and didn't care about anyone else. Once members started getting their relics handed to them then it really got bad. Nose up in there air I'm better than you syndrome. Close friends of mine got disgusted, fights broke and out and even some quit or left the FC.
We didn't have that in Version 1 so I never expected be a ARR or the community to be a bunch of snobs. One of my close friends transferred servers and said the community was fun and so was his new FC. Maybe it was a legacy server thing I don't know. I would transfer if they would let me take my gil with lol.