I see some of the mistakes I was making AND the party I got the boot from.One of the DPS was going in headstrong with me,and the healer was Cure happy.But I was not using Savage Blade to get more Hate,I've been using Riot Blade.Also,I thought Flash got everyone within the AoE,but from the comments I have to target each enemy and Flash (is that right?) to get their attention?
I went into a new party for the same dungeon and Flashing did a little better.They all played their roles better too.It went A LOT better.I had been Lobbing my Shield too but ineffectively.I leveled a Lancer to eight.Felt like a twig and fairly ineffectual in solo combat.
That being said I appreciate the comments,it's good to see some helpful people out here.I was kind of set to give up and move to DPS,but with a more successful run and your advice I have more confidence I can do this.Placement and more attention to Flash will serve me well,and a keyboard.Thank-you all.Restored confidence for this new player!!