The only true hardcore i've ever come across is in DDO, with people who play strict perma-death. it's self imposed, nothing forced on others, but if their character dies, they delete them and all the gear. Yes, even if "killed by lag". They also can't buy gear on the AH, only use what drops for them. That's about as hardcore as i've seen.

EvE might be thought so, but meh, never really found it that hardcore, just annoying. You also won't see many games focusing on hardcore players, as that isn't where money is, regardless of what the hardcore people think.