Odd healing question

[Odd]

You absolutely did the right thing OP. For me, it's more than just attacking the wrong target that will make me refuse to heal someone. For example, in Titan HM a few weeks ago there was a drg who would go balls to the wall from the second the tank got Titans attention. He would blow all his cooldowns and pull hate, while the WAR struggled to get it back. This was very chaotic, and we wiped. After doing this twice, I told him he needs to wait and let the tank establish hate before going for big burst damage. All he said was "Learn to tank." Granted, the tank wasn't the best geared, but he was trying his best and the DRG was just making his job unnecessarily difficult. Then I warned the drg if he did it again I would just let him die so the tank could get hate that way. Lucky for him he took me seriously, and two tries later two of my friends got their shiny new relic!

[Nalou]

I think you did what you wanted, which is already a good thing.

The Dps may disagree with mark order, because they know better. I think they would communicate about it though, so it was probably not the case.

They could also not care about the dungeon and all, and it's up to you to figure out if it's annoying for you to heal or not. Since it was annoying for you and the tank, you probably done what needed to be done. Sometimes it's not more annoying to heal people doing nothing right, just get your dungeon done and forget about them.


However, there is also another kind of players. Players who think healers are meant to clean their crap, because you aren't a real player/job cause you don't deal damage, because that's healer's job is to be a slave for everything they do. (They pretty much think the same about tanks by the way).
That kind of players, please let them die again and again until they ragequit.

[Sirantha]

You did absolutely nothing wrong and if you said what you say you did, I don't think you were particularly bitchy either. If you've already asked a person nicely to attack the right target and they persist in pulling hate, especially at earlier levels where tanks are struggling to keep agro, you did nothing wrong by refraining from healing him.

Put it this way, if you healed him, nothing would be there to stop the mob from attacking you from hate generated. That's not good at all!

I've stopped healing FC members who have stood in AoEs. I know that they're not doing it intentionally or because they're bad, perhaps due to lag or IRL distractions, but it's not worth wasting MP on someone when there's another person doing the right thing and needing it more.

[Penguinmayhem]

I think there is no good response to this.

If you snub members of your party for doing stupid shit and try to get the point across to them, they will be petulant about it, leave, and continue being douchebags elsewhere. It promotes the already present sense of inter-player aggression for you, them, and everyone involved.

If you try to ask them politely to not be a fuckass or attempt to talk things through with your group, they will completely ignored you and continue being asshats anyway.

[Inflorescence]

You absolutely were in the wrong.

As a Healer, your job is to keep the group healed.
As a Player, your job is not to take it upon yourself to "teach DPS a lesson."

You were doing your job a lot less than he was. You acted like a child and made your group suffer for it.

Sometimes, you get a bad group. Sometimes, people don't listen to you. Sometimes, people think they can play better than you can. Sometimes, people aren't thinking at all. Sometimes, people miss what was said in the chat log. It's still your job to heal. It's still your job to play with the cards you were dealt, and get your group through the dungeon.

The player needed instruction. You gave it to him (in a rather curt way, but curt is better than your later actions), so your duty was done. It's up to him to take heed of your advice at that point; you just have to continue healing.

[Valmar]

When I run dungeons, Dps attacks whatever they want. I lose aggro on nothing. Seems to me your husband needs to learn how to tank.

[Slark]

Honestly, alot of people seem to be taking OP's side on this, and I'm just kind of baffled. This is not the kind of way you should approach these things, and it comes off as incredibly abusive of your role, as well as seeming like a jackass. I completely understand that many of you are in fact, not douchebags, but it does not change the fact that, in my opinion, those "justified" actions are pretty mean.

First off, if it is a low level dungeon, who cares? lvl 15-30ish dungeons do not even require a tank. This especially applies to the Satasha-Halatali dungeons, where naked scholars tank in cleric stance while eos main heals. Low level dungeons do not teach you anything about this game, they are literal dungeon walkthroughs primarily for exploration/scenery purposes.

Second, I believe if you get into situations like these, both parties deserve respect, and need to dish it out as well. Communication is key. If you notice shits up, why not talk to the player a little bit, then ask, "Yo (insert LNC name here), do you mind if you attack 1 first? i think the GLA is having some aggro issues, and he/she isnt having a good time : /" If the LNC doesn't respond, then you adapt to the LNC by having the GLA tank his mob as priority. If the GLA isnt up to that challenge, then throw a cure or two onto the LNC. It's not like healing these things are actually hard, and you have nothing better to do besides spam stone in cleric. Satasha-Halatali actually don't need healers, and they most certainly do not need a dedicated tank either. A SMN can offheal while everyone keeps themselves up with healing CD's like second wind. In the lvl 15 dungeons, even that isn't required.

Overall, both the healer and tank are being drama queens in this situation. LNC is the third best tank in the game, and has about as much mitigation potential as GLA/MAR at those low levels. Totally not a big deal. DPS not focusing happens all the time to me as a healer, and what do I do? I pop a CD, throw a regen, or a cure on them, problem solved. God forbid I have to shift between TWO HEALTH BARS, MY GOD! Healing is a joke in this game, especially healing dungeons. If anything, it gives you something to do besides the monotonous stone spam.

Refusing to tank or heal for someone is equivalent to a DPS saying they will AFK until they get protect or stoneskin, which is also a plate full of BS. Good players/people teach pugs through actual communication, not through fear and threats. If you aren't feeling like doing that, then geuss what? you adapt to the pug. If you aren't even feeling like that, you can just grab friends and inhouse your dungeons. If you aren't willing to put up with pugs, then you shouldn't be pugging. If you have no friends and you don't want to put up with strangers, then MMO's are not right for you. You're better off playing single player games in a vacuum enviorment.

Now, I am sorry if any of this comes off as accusative or hostile, that is not my intent. But really? Doing stuff like this really shows how entitled and spoiled tanks and healers can be, even if they don't know it. Refusing to heal or tank for people pretty much means you are willing to degrade yourself into a trash player just to prove a useless point to another bad player who will most likely hate you while learning absolutely nothing. It reminds me of those people who go and argue with trolls in youtube comments.

Situations like these only arise when people are too scared to actually communicate with strangers in their MMO PUG group. When people talk to eachother in groups, the group functions better, it is a more friendly enviorment, and people are much more open to adjustments.

But seriously, teaching strangers "the hard way" almost always results in it backfiring right up in your face with negative consequences, and it if done, nobody gets to have a good time. You signed up for healer, so it is officially your duty to heal. the only time you should not be healing a DPS that pulls aggro is when you fear for your own life via aggro issues, or you are too busy healing yourself or a tank to a point where you have to divert attention onto more precious individuals, such as healers/tanks. However, it's clear that was not happening. You should focus on getting that dungeon done ASAP so you never have to see that LNC again if you disliked the way he played. I would highly suggest playing with more non-PUGs if things like this upset you.

[Jyoeru]

I have refused to heal an unruly player. But, now that I am leveling a tank, I like the challenge of keeping hate. It's not hard, even when people are on different targets, once you have the tools. Lower levels can be a bit of a pain, but not really. Low enough level dungeons shouldn't be hard to deal with when this happens. You're not wrong for how you handled it, but there are certainly more productive ways.

[Ryuko]

In that situation, I would try telling him... "Please attack what is marked #1. If you pull hate from the wrong mob, it is hard to heal you." I wouldn't just stop healing him without telling him what to do. If he's new, he might not even be noticing the marks. If you tell him multiple times and he still ignores you... then you are in the clear to let him die.

[Rbstr]

But, now that I am leveling a tank, I like the challenge of keeping hate. It's not hard, even when people are on different targets, once you have the tools. Lower levels can be a bit of a pain, but not really. Low enough level dungeons shouldn't be hard to deal with when this happens.

Before you've got your 3rd combo and enmity buff stance it can be difficult. Especially with well-geared roulette DPS. At least it's not too bad when things go wrong.
If DPS isn't going to hit marked targets sometimes it's just not worth it. On the bees in quarn, I just let the non-primary one go and sting the jerk who doesn't pay attention.

Now that I've played on the other side of the heals, I can't believe how pissy some healers get. "Put some real tank gear on I can't keep up" "I'm wearing like two dps accs, man. Missing a whopping 4 parry. Maybe heal out of cleric stance?" "It wouldn't be a problem if you were wearing tank gear" *vote to abandon* "wat"