I'm with you OP. I simply refuse to PUG most endgame content because of all the hate. Especially not with my Tank. Just CT or occasional dungeon run with BLM. No one ever complains about the BLM. I'm more then happy to tank as it is fun for me but with this game's idea of "community" why bother? Even if I clear content I can't have any fun with all the rage going on.

I don't think there is any solution but to try and cut yourself off from the community and stick to your FC. I know that's easier said then done since few FC's are truly big enough to run everything with exclusively. I don't see SE doing anything to really fix it. So there's no other option. I agree that this game just isn't the "escape" we were hoping it could be.