Is anyone else scared of dungeons or trying to progress?

[LiadansWhisper]

This is pretty absurd. I will not step on pins and needles (nor would I expect any other random person to) by assuming everyone on the internet is borderline suicidal. If you need help, there are outlets in the real world. Escaping in a virtual world is not healthy for someone with suicidal ideation. Get some help in the real world instead of running away from your problems online or expecting others to treat you special because you have your own demons.

Nobody is forcing you to stay in this online environment that you cannot endure. This is not some abusive relationship that you cannot escape. Uninstall, unplug, and go take a walk, or talk with professionals or real life friends. Everyone pays the same amount of money per month to play this game, we are not your therapists nor your counselors.

It bugs me that kindness and civility apparently fall under the mantle of "special treatment" in your eyes.

[Archona]

It bugs me that kindness and civility apparently fall under the mantle of "special treatment" in your eyes.

Like I've said time and time again in this thread, you should be kind to others and it would be nice if others were kind to you, but expecting everyone to treat you like a princess is ridiculous, and assuming that everyone you talk to on the internet is suicidal is even more absurd. You are not a special snowflake.

You should never impose your real life problems on others. They're your problems, not theirs. Deal with it.

[MorbidAngel]

I'm sure it's already been said, but I can't be bothered to read the entire thread...but just create a PF "learning" group and you're problem should be solved.

[KenzieLynch]

Like I've said time and time again in this thread, you should be kind to others and it would be nice if others were kind to you, but expecting everyone to treat you like a princess is ridiculous, and assuming that everyone you talk to on the internet is suicidal is even more absurd. You are not a special snowflake.

You should never impose your real life problems on others. They're your problems, not theirs. Deal with it.

I don't see where OP is asking to be treated like a princess. I think she is just asking to be spoken too like a person.

That said, this isn't just a problem with MMO's but with the internet in general.

[Caraway]

Like I've said time and time again in this thread, you should be kind to others and it would be nice if others were kind to you, but expecting everyone to treat you like a princess is ridiculous, and assuming that everyone you talk to on the internet is suicidal is even more absurd. You are not a special snowflake.
You should never impose your real life problems on others. They're your problems, not theirs. Deal with it.

I don't think anyone's expecting to be "treated like a princess." They're expecting to be treated with common courtesy and like a human being.

Telling people they should die in a fire is not cool. Telling people they have no place playing the game is not cool. And those are just tips of the iceburgs of things people have been told.

I personally was bombarded with huge amounts of threats and how I should just go jump in front of traffic. Because of pixels.

People seem to forget that those are people on the other side of the monitor.

[juniglee]

It's the human nature, we're actually more Darwinian than we think. We think it's OK to step on other people's heads, to use other people as stepping stones for our own needs. *As long as they are not our friends.*

I believe a lot of gamers were raised in the "survival of the fittest", "you can't help others if you can't even help yourself" mentality. Older MMO's which were more grind-like, and had a lot of player-controlled content (such as pvp, guild/nation wars, territorial control, etc.) tend to give birth to such players. When you are the top player in your class in your server, it gave you and your guild/group of friends lots of bragging rights. MMO's tend to be something of a never-ending game either - you are always constantly in a race to improve yourself. There is never someone who has "reached the pinnacle of his/her might" in an online game - there are only people who are bored with the current content to do any more. It's a race to the top with no ending tape in sight. Everybody wants to get to the top. Therefore they justify this sort of behaviour. They don't have the time to wait for other players, their time spent on helping other people move up, is time wasted that they could have spent on moving themselves up instead.

I like the design of this game. I agree lockouts and artificial caps can make content seem slow, but it's a necessary evil so that the gap between players in terms of character progression isn't blown so far wide apart that people don't get to feel like they're getting somewhere.

Ultimately, you need to look for meaningful connections in game. The people that are willing to help you out, the people with whom you can enjoy the game with and have fun. Not everyone is a jerk, and there are definitely some good apples among the bad ones. Seek them out, befriend them, and hopefully your experience will improve.

You can also consider a server transfer. I can't speak for other servers at the moment but Tonberry, as that's where I'm primarily based in. I run a nice Linkshell, filled with nice and helpful members. We just play around, muck around, have fun, etc. Tonberry is a Japanese server, with a huge English speaking community, based in South-East Asia, and Australia/New Zealand, so there's no problems with finding English players.

One more thing I cannot really speak up much for is the toxicity of players in Tonberry. I tend to hear about horror stories about unfriendly players, who spew vitriolic comments, and are generally unforgiving. I don't see the same problem in Tonberry however, since whenever I use the Duty Finder, I usually queue for Japanese parties. They are much more patient, they generally encourage each other when things are going bad, and they don't give up easily. I was doing Pharos Sirius once in a Japanese pug group, and although we wiped at Siren for 70 minutes (eventually we did not clear the dungeon), but I was really not compelled to leave them because I could see they were trying hard. It was the healer's second time in Pharos, and I tried to guide them with a combination of my limited Japanese knowledge, and Google Translate. While we didn't clear it, but I felt much more satisfaction helping them improve and gain more exposure for the dungeon/fight, than if I were to leave them and said to myself that they were a waste of my time.

[Archona]

I don't think anyone's expecting to be "treated like a princess." They're expecting to be treated with common courtesy and like a human being.

Telling people they should die in a fire is not cool. Telling people they have no place playing the game is not cool. And those are just tips of the iceburgs of things people have been told.

I personally was bombarded with huge amounts of threats and how I should just go jump in front of traffic. Because of pixels.

People seem to forget that those are people on the other side of the monitor.

Words only have value when you give them value. Not sure why you would take anyone seriously when they say anything on the internet. Its the internet, and we're dealing with avatars in a video game. This isn't Facebook, we don't know each other in real life. None of it is real. This is what people mean by "grow thicker skin". Ignore the nonsense and enjoy your game.

[Virtuso]

I'm with you OP. I simply refuse to PUG most endgame content because of all the hate. Especially not with my Tank. Just CT or occasional dungeon run with BLM. No one ever complains about the BLM. I'm more then happy to tank as it is fun for me but with this game's idea of "community" why bother? Even if I clear content I can't have any fun with all the rage going on.

I don't think there is any solution but to try and cut yourself off from the community and stick to your FC. I know that's easier said then done since few FC's are truly big enough to run everything with exclusively. I don't see SE doing anything to really fix it. So there's no other option. I agree that this game just isn't the "escape" we were hoping it could be.

[Kelvani]

This is pretty absurd. I will not step on pins and needles (nor would I expect any other random person to) by assuming everyone on the internet is borderline suicidal. If you need help, there are outlets in the real world. Escaping in a virtual world is not healthy for someone with suicidal ideation. Get some help in the real world instead of running away from your problems online or expecting others to treat you special because you have your own demons.

Nobody is forcing you to stay in this online environment that you cannot endure. This is not some abusive relationship that you cannot escape. Uninstall, unplug, and go take a walk, or talk with professionals or real life friends. Everyone pays the same amount of money per month to play this game, we are not your therapists nor your counselors.

wow.. just wow.

Wow.. you assume I am? No, I am speaking out because over the years I have time and time again seen headlines of someone killing themselves because of a MMORPG community. They kill themselves because they were kicked out of a guild, or someone hacked their account. I have seen people ruin their marriages, their careers, drop out of school all because of the almighty allure of being the most L33T or OP person in their game of choice. I know kids play this game that can barely type a sentence. I know older people play it. My point is that YOU DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE GROUPED WITH.

I am a older player. Real life always has and always will be more important to me than a game. I have a family, child, husband and I believe in treating people like PEOPLE. That doesn't mean you have to walk on pins and needles. Just talk to them the way you would to a person you know in real life. As for the lame "get therapy" comments that are often made when someone protests.. it sounds like the people who need the therapy are the ones who think its OK to treat others like trash. Its called bullying. Its not right here or elsewhere. If you think it is... time to unplug.

[LiadansWhisper]

Like I've said time and time again in this thread, you should be kind to others and it would be nice if others were kind to you, but expecting everyone to treat you like a princess is ridiculous, and assuming that everyone you talk to on the internet is suicidal is even more absurd. You are not a special snowflake.

You should never impose your real life problems on others. They're your problems, not theirs. Deal with it.

If expecting people to be polite to me is expecting them to treat me like a princess, then I am the biggest damn princess you have ever seen.

------------------

Words only have value when you give them value. Not sure why you would take anyone seriously when they say anything on the internet. Its the internet, and we're dealing with avatars in a video game. This isn't Facebook, we don't know each other in real life. None of it is real. This is what people mean by "grow thicker skin". Ignore the nonsense and enjoy your game.

This is bullshit. It's complete bullshit. Words have power. We have the choice - as individuals - to destroy hope or create hope with the words that come out of our mouths. We can change the world for someone else with words we say to them.

"Words have no power" is a complete copout. It's an excuse for treating people like they are less than human. Like they are trash. But it's still just an excuse. A pretty terrible one, I might add.