I've tried to avoid some content for similar reasons and currently elitism is the worst of the bunch. Monday I finally ran through coil's tiers 1 and 2. We wiped a few times in tier 1 but we cleared it and now I think I have a static for those tiers. As for the silliness that you can get in CT, well I can get over that because I have a high tolerance for stupidity. As for extreams, well, DF will half expect you to know what you're doing and the other half doesn't know what to do and will not say. Server side is all elites looking for members with 80 IL and experience.
For DR stuff, I queue as Heal or Tank so if there is a bad DPS doing stupid pulling, well I just turned stupid and forgot how to tank the mob you pull cause this one is marked [1]. Hell one time in Copperbell we had a very rushy archer that jumped into the slime boss before we I as the tank arrived since had to run from the last shortcut cause I died from a sloppy pull he made. Well we watched him die cause he was in a rush and wouldn't listen to our advice or how I marked my targets. Then as he lay there we proceeded to 3 Man the slime. Hope he was watching cause he would have learned the mechanics of the fight. Then we left him there since using return will be just as fast as raising plus our heal didn't have quickcast, and proceeded on with the dungeon and after 5 minutes he still lay there, we promptly vote kicked him for being AFK. Mistakes can and will be learned from, but stupidity is just stupidity.