You don't have to use macros, you can drag the abilities from your spellbook directly onto your hotbar. You can also set keybindings to the pet bar. The only macro I really use is for Embrace so that I can use it on either fairy by pressing the same key.

By default, fairies will use their abilities as they see fit and won't accept any input from the player. Unfortunately they're not very smart about this and will blow all their abilities the moment you step into battle. If you want to control their abilities directly then you need to set them on Obey. Right now it's a little dumb because you have to have an enemy as your target before you can use Obey, and then you gotta use Heel to get them to follow you or else they'll sit there like a dumb little turd and then disappear when you move too far. You'll have to do this every time you summon them.