Thing is, your arguments are also just as moralistic and circular. You have said "Person for whom it is an upgrade gets the most benefit because its an upgrade because upgrades are the most beneficial use of gear." You're also focusing entirely on the end result. The only thing that impacts who gets to roll on gear, in your opinion, is who it will benefit the most, where you have defined benefiting as improving stats. The question then, is what element actually does the work in the process of "earning" gear.
You have said that the need for stat improvement does this work. Yet, your need, or lack there of, does nothing to actually get you the chance to access loot. Needing heavy allagan gauntlets wont make a chest appear for me to take them out of. The only thing that can get me access to those gloves is winning the fight. Whether or not I need them, or any other piece from turn 4, has no impact on how many turn 4 chests I get to open, or what their contents will be. The only thing that "earns" me access to those chests is completing the fight.
The only way to win the fight, and "earn" gear, is to be on a team with 7 other people so I can zone in and have help killing the what ever.
You see, personal "need" for a piece will always be subjective. There is no universal, this thread has proven that, everyone disagrees and thinks there are different caveats. Not to mention, it is an inherently competitive system. There are only so many drops, and there are always fewer drops than party members. The only way for me to get what I want from a primal is for you, and everyone else on the team, to not get what they want.
Accordingly, we enter into a social contract with each other. We will play the game together, and work together to get the win, that way we get access to the drop or drops, all knowing that more people will lose than win. But we aren't angry when the blm wristelts drop and you wanted bard, at least not at the blm. They played and won just like you did to get that equal chance. Sometimes more than one person will want the same item. This is a reality of the game. If you don't want to play with people who might compete with you, then you're going to have to build your own groups and be very patient to get them filled.
What does the work for earning gear is the actual playing and winning. Everyone zoned in knowing their odds of gear, saying that some people shouldn't be allowed to roll against other for any set of reasons will just cause those people to not come in the first place.
The only exception to this is when a group forms and collectively agrees to its own set of loot rules beyond those built into the game. If everyone agrees to a set of loot rules in this fashion and then breaks them, of course they are wrong and should be punished.