A friend's message in a bottle:

"Hey I played in 1.0 and I need to install to take advantage of this weekend event. The problem is I have Somalian warlord internet and need to update tonight in order to be done before Monday. How can I do this? The event starts at 12:00 AM Saturday- that simply is not enough time.

Actually, it's really more like Somalian 1975 Soviet weapons vendor internet.

Please help!"