i found a temporary workaround. for some reason it works, and im not sure why.

here are the steps:
1. go to keybind settings
2. under targeting, 'set targeting mode to PC Only' - give this a shortcut. i used 'shift-D' for easy access.
3. when zoning, fighting mobs, etc - targeting mode is usually auto reset to 'All' or 'Other' (shown right above HP bar).
4. when i click 'set targeting mode to PC only' - it becomes Enemy (yes, another bug. it shows enemy instead of friendlies -and 'set targeting mode to enemys' will say 'friends' instead. way to go
5. everytime i get that auto self select bug - i switch to 'set targeting mode to pc only' (which shows the word 'enemy' on my hp bar) - and this stops the auto select!!!

hope this helps someone, as it helped me.