I've had people all for commendations and if I'm in a party tell them they certainly deserve it but that I'm partied. It's hasn't been an issue. Most DF groups I ran with prepatch I actually came to like. Especially if we started out wiping several times. You'd be amazed at how open to advice they become if you are polite about it. People who cause a wipe are generally braced for getting blasted and appreciate when the party is cool and willing to move on. I think you're overthinking it, op.