'Grinding' is boring, but the uniqueness of this game is not. Yes, it has a long way to go (we all know that), but I actually quite like how different it is from other games. There's a lot to understand and become experienced with. There's so much complexity. Understanding that complexity better makes you better at the game and leveling A LOT easier.
I will agree that the 'main' storyline quest spacing is ridiculous. I also agree that the 'side quests' are too simple. I believe they were thrown in so that SOMETHING existed while they work on more important issues, such as the very core of the game... and ESPECIALLY class 'identity'. Leveling, crafting, and the lack of an AH has become a LOT better.
Of course, it's not perfect, but it's getting there. I'm willing to wait and play on occasion while it improves. I like watching the progress. When it does get better, it will be more 'addicting' and have better playability. I believe one of the things they need to do is balance out the whole 'surplus' system as well as leve-timing. The OP is right about how either you must solo leves or you must grind (which yields very little EXP) if you want to level alone. That said, XI was the same way. You COULD solo, but you NEVER got a lot of EXP for it. I've been saying this for a while, but I still think the way to deal with this whole issue is to reward people who don't play as much instead of punishing those who do. Make a 'rested exp' system similar to WoW. That was one thing they did that I absolutely think is the best way to handle it.
I respect the OP's explanation with which they left. As someone else said, it wasn't whiny or annoying. I will however say that you can't expect to AFK-level or be power-leveled... Why even play the game if you're going to do that? Part of the game is getting to the level cap. It doesn't just 'start' with endgame. If you are such a big fan of XI, don't you have amazing memories of doing missions while leveling up, occasionally dying in horribly laughable ways, and being able to laugh about it later? I love that. I think as time goes on, they'll give it a bit more 'depth'. It wouldn't be a FF without a very in-depth storyline. I haven't touched the whole "Company" thing yet, but maybe that will make it more fun...