<<Fenix>> Down Syndrome - A PvP focused Free Company and Linkshell is now recruiting.

[MudMonster]

From the desk of Frau Pinksock (Official Free Company Secretary, Unofficial Pass Around Skank),




hello, jerks, and welcome to another installment of "you're all garbage" by me.

we're back down under a roster size of 30 - and that includes everybody's alt toons.

it's a slimmer, more health conscious fenix down syndrome these days - no more 4am gameplay while licking that ranch sauce from pizza-sushi lunch off of my chest hairs. we had to go away awhile in order to work off the hundreds of unsightly pounds of pure fat that we had accumulated on our midsections, thighs, and cankle areas due to spending more than 23.5 hours a day playing this video game. drinking, smoking pot, making out with dudes, and playing video games every single night for months consecutively can really take a toll on the human body, let me tell you. well some of that stuff at least, or whatever.

[MudMonster]

all that said, we're now not only the greatest video game players in the history of recorded history and otherwise, but also making ourselves even MORE attractive to man, woman, and chocobo alike through occasional acts of random philanthropy like recruiting a couple people if they aren't the worst ever like all of you reading this right now.

if you're someone who is grossly overweight and possibly involved in a failed or failing marriage/education/pregnancy/etc. due to your obsession with being the best at every video game in history, come down with the syndrome. we'll shape you up in no time, promise. your end of the bargain: be coachable, receptive to criticism and namecalling (and other negative reinforcement), and don't be the absolute worst in history like 99.999999% of online idiots are - all just running in place in a perpetual tie, so pitifully bad that they couldn't even be any worse than their peers if they tried. just don't be that, thanks.

[MudMonster]

we want YOU. fenix down syndrome saves - blessed be, the funk's on we. only if you're moderately incredible or better, though.

let's weigh things out -

advantages to trying out for (and potentially getting into) Fenix Down Syndrome:

-be a part of the best ever in history of all time
-be able to tell your kids, grandkids, and other loved ones how friggin awesome you are
-learn a lot about yourself and your tolerance for negative reinforcement and abuse
-get appx. 10 to 1000000000010 percent better at this and all other video games.
-make famous friends
-instantly become more attractive to people on the internet, male and female and otherwise
-immediately obtain and command moderate to incredibe amounts of liquid cash, as well as huge tracts of land
-get sweet muscles

[MudMonster]

downsides to not being in Fenix Down Syndrome:

-obviously of below average physical appearance (or worse)
-a rapidly degrading intellect
-probably poor and a pancake-eater
-definitely being poor
-being horrible at video games as well as uncoordinated and incapable of completing even moderately challenging physical activities
-stinking like crap all the time

[MudMonster]

Ok, seriously...some things to understand before you apply:

1. 18+ required, 21+ preferred
2. Working headset/mic and mumble are REQUIRED during any pvp, and preferred ALL THE TIME.
a.If your voice is annoying as crap you will probably be banned as crap without warning, no questions asked.
b.You don't have to be on mumble 100% of the time, but if you're not on mumble like 9 days in a row because you are "jamming some tunes" and doing some "questing"...screw you, you're probably getting cut without warning.
c. If you constantly have reggae dance parties or congressional hearings or nascar races or some other shit going on wherever you use your computer, stop it or else we will send you to the caymans with kratoz. f'real.
3. be cool, bro. be cool.
4. we won't tell you what to do, how to do it, what to play, or where to go. this isn't video game school. be good, cool, and fun, or be somewhere else.

[MudMonster]

as a friendly reminder:

still in place is our SHUT YOUR GAPING MOUTH YOU GODDAM SONOFABEAST BEFORE MY EARDRUMS EXPLODE day. this very, very special guild event will be held EVERY SINGLE DAY EVER. our mumble will remain public, so feel free to stop by and SHUT THE HELL UP sometime soon!

mumblebans dropped equally as liberally as loads on your glasses for those that aren't compliant. we really do talk a lot on mumble, and if one person can single handedly talk so much that everyone else gets quiet, it is time for that person to shut their gaping mouth.

toodles, poodles - this is how you make us feel


P.S. We also have a linkshell.

www.fenixdownsyndrome.com

[letovash]

As a long time member of the fenix down syndrome crew, I would like to try to explain what I feel we are about and the manner in which we approach the playing of video games. for the most part, we are friends who play video games together. We have been doing so for a very very long time. We tend to gain the reputation as some sort of elitist pricks.. and... well... I am not exactly sure thats the best way to describe us. We merely want you to want to completely dominate all aspects of the video games we play with us. We do so while laughing about it and having fun in one form of voice communication or another (at the moment its mumble). Coordination is the key to success in any multiplayer game, and we have developed a level of playing few ever achieve. We grow stronger in each game we play because we always attract other players that play video games the same way we do, to have fun with friends. As long as you have a good sense of humor, you will get along with us just fine.

[Chaelim]

I took the time to create an account simply to respond to this thread. Response below:

"LOL"

/end

[Splath]

A++ Would read again.

[Lumiin]

Thinking of moving to this server. I'm interested in joining.