For those of you having issues, this is how I fixed it. If you don't understand a step, google it or check portforward.com for more info.

1. Each machine that is used to play FFXIV needs either a static local IP or a reserved dynamic IP (easier to use reservations for wireless connections). This is required so that when you forward or open a port it goes to the proper machine, and it won't change. This is an important step and should not be skipped.

2. Open FINAL FANTASY XIV Config. Click General. On UPnP Port mapping select "Do not use" (This is a feature the updater uses to automatically open the ports in your router and point them to your current IP, and it does not work properly) After you select "Do Not Use" The port number turns from grey to black, and you can change it. Keep this window open.

3. Go to C:\Users\Username\Documents\My Games\FINAL FANTASY XIV\downloads (Windows 7, may be a different location for you) and open the UPnP Port mapping file. After "External Port" there is a number. Write it down.

4. Go back to the config window left open and type that port number into the box labeled Port(55296-55551). I don't know why I did this, but it makes me feel good to have these numbers agree with each other.

Now we have the groundwork needed to get this update (and the game) running well, a static port opened and a static IP address to point to. Time for the last step, forward the port we wrote down to the IP address we set up as the static IP.

5. Figure out how to forward ports with your router, and then forward the ports in your router!

Some people are suggesting to just open/forward all of the ports in the range the game uses, and this is a bad idea imo, especially if you are trying to play on more than one machine, it is impossible afaik to forward a port range to more than one machine. So a quick sum up:

1. Static IP
2. Static port (number used from UPnP file)
3. Static port forwarded to static IP

Hope this helps!