I had serious issues with the red rings not properly representing my escape from danger.

2 weeks ago.

Then I removed my router from the equation, connected my modem straight to my PC.

A world of difference. Ease of dodging is significantly, even comically easier now.

TLDR: My router was on the verge of 'dying', and causing added latency. I removed it, latency disappeared.

Check your PC.
Check your Home Network.
Check your ISP.
Check with SE.

In that order. If you choose to skip a step, nobody will take you seriously.