Experiencing new WHM paranoia. Halp!

[Ehayte]

I can't speak from a healing perspective, but from a Tanking perspective you are not alone, especially in the environment that this game has created. Most people are completely indifferent exceptional ability or performance, and are harsh and damning regarding sub-par or poor performance. "Perfect" is the absolute minimum that most DPS classes expect from tanks and healers. If something goes moderately wrong, the response usually goes something like this:

You take a CRAPLOAD of damage from a BUNCH of enemies because of a TINY mistake someone made!
Lolz Bard > ...
DoodSummoner 420xx69 > wtf?
Tank/Healer > Sorry guys, I tried my best but things just didn't go right/we had bad luck
Lolz Bard > u suk, noob - l2p
Lolz Bard has left the party!
DoodSummoner 420xx69 has left the party!
Tank/Healer > Sigh....have a good one.
Healer/Tank > See ya later : /

[Sareal]

I'm still fairly new to FFXIV's groups gameplay, but I experience the same thing, except it started out as the opposite, I couldn't help but think about how great I was actually performing...until I started noticing that maybe I was doing too much.

This feeling started to transform into self-doubt. Am I doing something wrong? I'm not experienced enough to notice all the mistakes that everyone makes yet so when we wipe I can't help but think it's my fault. Turns out I just get unlucky with less experienced groups. (Not that it's a bad thing in itself, but it does bring up questions about self-performance at times)

To answer your question, you are definitely not alone in this