General Question: How do I escape from Lalafell Assassins?

[DubstepNinja]

Lala Assassins are perfectionists and thrive on pure logic. To defend against the assassin you must first go to the Miners guild, leading the assassin there. You place 5 shovels against a wall, point to them and tell the assassin to take their pick. The logic imbalance will cause the Lala assassin to freeze long enough for you to escape or trade them a Doe Eyed Deer minion, if you trade them a minion the cuteness factor will ensure the Lala gives up being an assassin and will never hunt you down (not withstanding the person who paid for the assassin to hire another).

Logical paradoxes only work on evil robots bro

[Niko_Kishiko]

Seen this on reddit. Apparently they can be anywhere.

[HumsterMKX]

Seen this on reddit. Apparently they can be anywhere.

By the Twevle... Bloody Assassins!

[Marael]

I need to know the best possible means to throw off a Lalafell Assassin.

Unleash the Tarutaru Zombies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQRp6_9SEtc

[Evened_Odds]

Throw some Fantasia at them and laugh as they grow into a Roegadyn and collapse under their own weight...?

[Pyre1million]

The first thing you do is acquire some Gysahl Greens. Not the cheap kind, I mean the *good* stuff, fresh-picked.
Next, lure a chocobo. No, you can't use a Company Chocobo for this, or a Porter's. You need a proper wild Chocobo.
Once you've acquired the chocobo, you need to train it to recognize assassin Lalas on sight. This *sounds* hard, but wild chocobos learn *incredibly* fast and have better eyesight than you. It shouldn't take more than a few hours.
Having done that, position the wild Chocobo behind you, wherever you go. Eventually the Lalassassin will move to strike, and the Chocobo will spot them. At this point, if you've done EVERYTHING right, the Chocobo will scoop up the Lalassassin and run off into the sunset to have amazing adventures in lands undreamt of.
If you did something *wrong*, well, Twelve help you.

[Vanguard319]

Trust me, I'm a Time Traveler and I know these things. Save yourselves!

I demand a cookie for my services TO YOU GOOD PEOPLES!1!1ONE!!

uh yeah, you traveled through time resolving paradoxes and completely ignoring the butterfly effect it would have on the timeline until you literally broke time itself, oh and you got your companions killed to boot. NO COOKIE FOR YOU!!!

[Vanguard319]

Unleash the Tarutaru Zombies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQRp6_9SEtc

and have the infection spread? YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL!!!!

[Vanguard319]

Best solution is complete paranioa: TRUST NOTHING!!!!
Who cares if others think your insane? You'll have the last laugh when Lala assassins are eating their brains.