The fundamental problem is that SE chose to put in battle-mechanics which are fine for off-line FPS 'twitch' games into an MMO with all the issues the OP goes into.

GW2's 'dodge' mechanic works because it requires a single button-press to indicate you moved, so only a single client/server interaction is needed to register whether you were quick enough or not.

It's not ideal and frankly I think SE has gone way overboard of the 'get out of the red' to the point where many I know hate playing melee classes, but if SE insist on doing it they need to adopt a GW2-like mechanic that is largely (if not entirely) protected from latency/server-lag problems.